...and you don't have to read it but I'm kind of excited about this one. My first paper where I was able to use a real bookstore (thank you B&N) and a topic that is so close to me (and so many of you) personally. I guess that personal investment really paid off, I aced it!
I used several great books as references, some might seem like a bit of 'psycho babble' to the everyday reader but others are very reader friendly and focus on military families and/or their returning service member. If you'd like the titles let me know. I highly suggest them for anyone who has been stationed in/near combat zones.
**I can't imagine any of my friend/family readers would try to plagiarize my paper but for anyone who stumbles across this paper and tries, know it will be caught on any plagiarism site your professor runs it through**
Life After Deployment
Living through a combat deployment may be the most stressful situation that a service member can go through but learning to live again after returning home can be a daunting task as well. We see and hear on the news accounts of service members struggling through adjustment issues when returning home after serving an extended period in combat environments; and as recently as today a post deployment health story made headlines. Though, this particular account was of a military working dog who now suffers from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after serving as a bomb sniffing dog in Iraq (Elliot, 2010). While some debate the idea that animals can suffer combat stress reactions (CSRs), this story contributes to the level of incidence of combat stress injuries that occur as result of serving in hostile environments.
Most service members returning home from combat situations will have a period of readjustment that they and/or their families notice and consider disruptive to daily life. This period of readjusting can be short lived, a couple weeks or last up to a year. While many service members that serve in combat environments return home with only minimal adjustment issues as many as 30% of Vietnam veterans have had, or currently suffer with PTSD; veterans of Operation Desert Shield/Storm had an incidence rate of about 10.1%; veterans from the Somalia and Bosnia conflicts had an 8% incidence rate, and currently with the conflict in Iraq and Afghanistan have an incidence rate between 6.2% and 12.9% (Kennedy and Zillmer, 2006). With occurrences of combat stress reactions at these levels extensive research has been, and is currently being done to identify signs and symptoms of combat stress injuries during, and after returning from a deployment, as well as ways to alleviate symptoms allowing for affected service members to transition more smoothly into non-combat environments.
While serving in theater one might be shot at or be witness to the death of a friend, fellow service member, innocent civilian men, women and/or children, and even hostile combatants. Exposure to improvised explosive devices (IEDs), mine and bomb blasts, excessive weaponry, accidents, the constant state of alertness required while in combat environments and even the unfamiliar setting and culture in the combat location can initiate war zone stress reactions also known as combat or acute stress reactions (Sloan and Friedman, 2008).
Combat stress reactions can show up in the form of sleep disturbances, insomnia, restless sleep or nightmares, trembling or shaking, anger or aggression, shortness of breath, heavy chest, dizziness, pounding heart, elevated pulse or blood pressure, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, head or back aches, blurred vision, feelings that no one can relate or understand what you’ve been through or feeling like you’re either hyper vigilant (always alert) or have a delayed startle reaction. Further symptoms can include inattentiveness, memory loss, difficulty reasoning or faulty judgment, loss of hope, flashbacks, delusions or hallucinations (Kennedy and Zillmer, 2006; Slone and Friedman, 2008).
Due to the unnatural events that service members are faced with while forward deployed and the possible ramifications each could face, each branch of service has implemented a system for use during demobilization in hopes of informing service members of what to expect and/or to watch for in themselves and their comrades. During this demobilization process a post deployment heath assessment (PDHA) is conducted to determine post deployment health and to serve as a baseline for a future PDHA that will take place three to six months after returning home from deployment (Kennedy and Zillmer, 2006).
Colonel Carl Castro, PhD and colleagues created the ‘BATTLEMIND’ approach for the US Army at Walter Reed Army Institute of Research. It is utilized during their demobilization process and can be readdressed as needed through brochures, power point presentations and online. The word BATTLEMIND is an acronym that differentiates mental skills used for survival in combat situations but can be problematic if carried over in to day-to-day living. “B” stands for buddies (cohesion) vs. withdrawal; “A” is for accountability vs. controlling; the first “T” for targeted vs. inappropriate aggression; the second “T” represents tactical awareness vs. hyper vigilance; “L” is for lethally armed vs. locked and loaded; “E” stands for emotional control vs. detachment; “M” is for mission operational security vs. secretiveness; “I” represents individual responsibility vs. guilt; “N” stands for non-defensive driving (combat) vs. aggressive driving and the “D” stands for discipline and ordering vs. conflict (Sloan and Friedman, 2006).
In addition to the demobilization BATTLEMIND for service members, the Army has created a BATTLEMIND for loved ones that aims to increase resilience and smooth the integration process. For loved ones the acronym BATTLEMIND stand for Buddies (social support), Adding/subtracting from family roles, Taking control, Talking it out, Loyalty and commitment, Emotional balance, Mental health and readiness, Independence, Navigating the Army (military) system and Denial of the self (Self Sacrifice) (Sloan and Friedman, 2006). Understanding how and being able to mesh both BATTLEMINDs together can help the post deployment transition for the affected service member and his/her family alike.
Reactions to combat stress are normal and in many cases can be reduced through simple techniques and coping strategies, alone or with loved ones; though in some cases a greater intervention is required. Armstrong, Best and Domenici (2006) suggest using relaxation drills where you recall and focus on positive events that occurred while deployed. In addition to the positive thoughts, focused breathing techniques and forced flex and relaxation of muscle groups helps reverse the “fight-or-flight” response. One simple thing many service members forget is that it takes time to adjust to a post deployment mentality. In addition, service members should ease into pre-deployment routines like drinking, as it can intensify emotions or fears, or driving due to different driving styles in combat/civilian life. They are encouraged to reconnect with their social support and talk about their deployment experiences; if not with family or peers, then with a chaplain or counselor (Sloan and Friedman, 2008).
If CSRs continue for more than six to eight weeks, intensify with time, with specific circumstances or begin to interfere with personal or work life to the extent that basic functioning is hindered help from an outside source is recommended (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006; Sloan and Friedman, 2008). Persistent reactions if left untreated can turn into PTSD, depression or other mental health problems (Sloan and Friedman, 2008).
Once a service member realizes either on their own, as result of a PDHA, through the demobilization process or with administrative initiative that his/her transition from combat to normal life is not progressing or if there is an intensification of combat stress reactions an intervention needs to occur. He or she should meet with their primary care physician (PCP) to discuss any physical or mental concerns and combat stress reactions that they have noticed since returning from combat. While at this appointment the service member should inform the doctor of any medications they are taking, be honest about any alcohol or illicit drug use if any, and if comfortable, discuss their wartime experiences and how they feel they are affecting them (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006; Slone and Friedman, 2008). By making the initial step with a PCP, the physician can listen to the service members concerns and if he/she and/or the physician feel that symptoms suggest a diagnosis of PTSD then a Primary Care PTSD Screen (PC-PTSD) can be conducted. The PC-PTSD is a brief, problem focused survey that does not diagnose but rules out or supports that further assessments are necessary. From there, the PCP can either initiate a regular medical treatment plan or refer the service member to a psychologist, social worker or Veterans Center (Slone and Friedman, 2008).
At the initial meeting with a behavioral or mental health provider an assessment is conducted. Along with talking with the service member the counselor may give a written survey or verbally conduct an interview to assist in the diagnosis (Slone and Friedman, 2008). A diagnosis of PTSD comes with very rigid guidelines and is considered acute if the duration of symptoms is less than three months, chronic if the duration lasts three months or more or delayed onset if the symptoms begin to occur six or more months after the trauma has occurred (Grossman, 2008). In order to meet the criteria for PTSD one must have a history of exposure to one or more traumatic events that involve actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity to oneself or others and has a response of intense fear, helplessness, or horror. In addition they must suffer from at least two symptoms (three for avoidant/numbing) from the following criterion: intrusive recollection, avoidant/numbing and hyper-arousal.
“Intrusive recollection, the traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in: Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions; Recurrent distressing dreams of the event; Acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur upon awakening or when intoxicated); Intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event; and/or Physiologic reactivity upon exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.
Avoidant/numbing, persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by at least three of the following: Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma; Efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma; Inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma; Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities; Feeling of detachment or estrangement from others; Restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings); Sense of foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span).
Hyper-arousal, Persistent symptoms of increasing arousal (not present before the trauma): Difficulty falling or staying asleep; Irritability or outbursts of anger; Difficulty concentrating; Hyper-vigilance; Exaggerated startle response” (APA, 2000).
Once a clear diagnosis is made the road to recovery can truly begin. The mental health provider will discuss in depth what PTSD is and how it will affect the service member and his/her co workers and loved ones. From there, patient and provider work together to set short and long term goals while mapping out the intended treatment. Treatment can consists solely of talk therapies and medications but often require more in depth teamwork between the patient and provider (Slone and Friedman, 2008).
Treatment may consist of group or individual therapy. With group therapy participants create bonds with others who have experienced similar traumatic experiences and from an individual’s experiences others in the group learn techniques to apply in their lives. Individual therapy can be administered through Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) or Exposure Therapy. CBT is the most effective choice of treatment for PTSD as it works with an individual’s thoughts in order to change their emotions, thoughts and behaviors. CPT enables the patient to indentify and examine trauma related thought patterns through cognitive restructuring and encourages replacing those thoughts with balanced and accurate ones. Exposure therapy involves controlled exposure to detailed images that instigate the fear and distress caused by the initial trauma and the memories triggered by the trauma. This process can be effective in disconnecting the memory from the associated fear and/or distress (Slone and Friedman, 2008).
Many people believe a person should avoid events, locations or situations where triggers occur but avoidance like this only reinforces PTSD symptoms because the sufferer fails to learn that these situations are only triggers to uncomfortable memories but are not in any real physical danger (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006). Because of this theory, providers may offer coping techniques in situation avoidance. An example of such coping would be for the service member to write a list of all triggers – people, places and situations and rank them according to the level of stress they invoke. Create another list of ways to reward yourself after tackling a trigger. On a day where you have no other commitments plan to face the least stressful situation. While doing this you might need to resort to breathing and relaxation techniques but upon completion of the challenge, reward yourself with something from your rewards list (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006).
Providers might also offer coping mechanisms for combating panic or unwanted images or memories. They may suggest specific exercises to do when overwhelmed and to pay attention to your “red flag” moments. At those times, the exercises and techniques provided will help calm tense conditions (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006).
Once the service members understands PTSD and the role it plays in his/her life and has the strategies and coping mechanisms in place to combat stressors the only thing left is to heal and reintegrate into their military unit. Kennedy and Zillmer (2006) stated, “Combat stress reactions are normal responses to extremely abnormal conditions.” Even though symptoms may still present themselves, the natural social support within a military unit helps alleviate the perceived threat and increases the service members perception of personal health and well being as well as normalizing reactions (Kennedy and Zillmer, 2006).
Whether the CSRs are minimal and short lived or progress into PTSD or other emotional or anxiety disorders, knowing the signs and symptoms, seeking help when needed and maintaining a sense of belonging and camaraderie between the affected service member and his/her unit can make a world of difference in the recovery process.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Who has got your back?
I am never one to wish ill will on anyone but in this case it's a little hard to not join in with the census. The past few months have been crazy- a trans global move, leaving the kids in Texas to finish the school year as we waited for our house to be completed, dealing with the delivery of our stuff & of course the missing couch... It's been a bit stressful. Then you add the BIG issue- another upcoming deployment!
I've blogged about it a little bit, but it's been shrouded with plenty of uncertainty. We have a monitor (person who does job placement for Marines) who has a god complex and feels he needs to stick it to everyone, then we have my husband who has done MORE than his share of deploying and combat action who is demanding that he get what is rightfully owed to him: time with his family.
If you go back through my blogs, I think I may have written about Derrick asking if we could expedite our order to NC because of the timing and all that went down with the embassy situation. When he talked to his monitor the guy acted like a jerk and told him to suck it up. (Apparently that is one of his key phrases) He then told us that we couldn't move any earlier because the unit Derrick was going to be going to was currently deployed.
Shortly before arriving in NC we found out that they weren't, but they were gearing up to. Derrick was arriving just in time to fall into their pre-deployment training schedule. The problem is that he still has over a year left on his dwell time from his last deployment so if they choose to deploy him he is entitled to certain benefits/incentives.
So the fight for getting what is rightfully owed to him began. His new command understood the position he was in, but didn't understand why his monitor would put him OR them in a situation like this. They tried everything they could to move him within the regiment to avoid him having to deploy- because oddly enough- the units (most of them) care about their Marines and families. The monitors, eh not so much.
When they were unable to find a replacement for Derrick within the regiment they had to contact the monitor. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate his Sergeant Major and how he went to bat for Derrick. He (SgtMaj) called Derrick's monitor and asked to give Derrick orders to another unit because Derrick was owed/entitled to his dwell time. The monitor told the Sgt Maj that Derrick needed to suck it up and deploy again. That is when he got pissed and told him no. He needed to look at the books again, see that Derrick has spent more than enough time deployed and he needs to look at all the people who have have never deployed but have been saying for the past 10 years that they've 'been trying but the chance has never come up' and give them their opportunity.
Like I said, I am elated, so thrilled that someone really, I mean really went to bar for Derrick and it paid off. Next week he'll check into his new unit!
(& will be able to enjoy his full dwell time.)
P.S. the 'ill will' sentiment... ;).
I've heard from a birdie that some might wish something horrid, like syphilis on one particular job placement personnel. Danny, if you're reading this, you can attest to the suggested desired locations of disease breakout.
Marines are so funny.
I've blogged about it a little bit, but it's been shrouded with plenty of uncertainty. We have a monitor (person who does job placement for Marines) who has a god complex and feels he needs to stick it to everyone, then we have my husband who has done MORE than his share of deploying and combat action who is demanding that he get what is rightfully owed to him: time with his family.
If you go back through my blogs, I think I may have written about Derrick asking if we could expedite our order to NC because of the timing and all that went down with the embassy situation. When he talked to his monitor the guy acted like a jerk and told him to suck it up. (Apparently that is one of his key phrases) He then told us that we couldn't move any earlier because the unit Derrick was going to be going to was currently deployed.
Shortly before arriving in NC we found out that they weren't, but they were gearing up to. Derrick was arriving just in time to fall into their pre-deployment training schedule. The problem is that he still has over a year left on his dwell time from his last deployment so if they choose to deploy him he is entitled to certain benefits/incentives.
So the fight for getting what is rightfully owed to him began. His new command understood the position he was in, but didn't understand why his monitor would put him OR them in a situation like this. They tried everything they could to move him within the regiment to avoid him having to deploy- because oddly enough- the units (most of them) care about their Marines and families. The monitors, eh not so much.
When they were unable to find a replacement for Derrick within the regiment they had to contact the monitor. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate his Sergeant Major and how he went to bat for Derrick. He (SgtMaj) called Derrick's monitor and asked to give Derrick orders to another unit because Derrick was owed/entitled to his dwell time. The monitor told the Sgt Maj that Derrick needed to suck it up and deploy again. That is when he got pissed and told him no. He needed to look at the books again, see that Derrick has spent more than enough time deployed and he needs to look at all the people who have have never deployed but have been saying for the past 10 years that they've 'been trying but the chance has never come up' and give them their opportunity.
Like I said, I am elated, so thrilled that someone really, I mean really went to bar for Derrick and it paid off. Next week he'll check into his new unit!
(& will be able to enjoy his full dwell time.)
P.S. the 'ill will' sentiment... ;).
I've heard from a birdie that some might wish something horrid, like syphilis on one particular job placement personnel. Danny, if you're reading this, you can attest to the suggested desired locations of disease breakout.
Marines are so funny.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Carpe Diem
About once or twice a year, since we've graduated into the internet age, I receive this chain e mail about a woman who in essence hoards all her "good" things for a special occasion only to die never wearing that special silk blouse or using that expensive perfume. I don't know that I've ever actually forwarded that e mail onto anyone but I've carried the message with me through the years.
Over the past four years this story has come to mind often, in my life as well as others. I took it as a lesson and stepped out of my comfort zone a time or two in order to say "I did that" verses "I could have but.."
With the chaos that military life brings it's hard to not seize every day and cherish all the special moments and items but for civilians (& some military families too) I think they sometimes forget.
One person comes to mind right now, but I don't want to blast anyone in particular so I'll be vague. That way you, if this isn't about you, can still apply it to your life without feeling like you took a message intended for someone else. :)
When you want to do something or see someone do it. Do it when you say you will. Do it when it comes to mind, when it's on your heart. If you think you don't have time, make time. Things that are important to you are worth making the time for. You never know when you'll lose that opportunity. Life is short. Live life seizing those moments, not letting them slip through your fingers. The only thing that separates "I did" and "I wish I had" are actions.
We know to well how quickly things can change. Moves happen, deployments happen, life and even death happens and when it does all you have is what you made of those moments.
So make those moments count.
Wear that special silk blouse.
Spray a spritz of that expensive perfume.
and live life!
Over the past four years this story has come to mind often, in my life as well as others. I took it as a lesson and stepped out of my comfort zone a time or two in order to say "I did that" verses "I could have but.."
With the chaos that military life brings it's hard to not seize every day and cherish all the special moments and items but for civilians (& some military families too) I think they sometimes forget.
One person comes to mind right now, but I don't want to blast anyone in particular so I'll be vague. That way you, if this isn't about you, can still apply it to your life without feeling like you took a message intended for someone else. :)
When you want to do something or see someone do it. Do it when you say you will. Do it when it comes to mind, when it's on your heart. If you think you don't have time, make time. Things that are important to you are worth making the time for. You never know when you'll lose that opportunity. Life is short. Live life seizing those moments, not letting them slip through your fingers. The only thing that separates "I did" and "I wish I had" are actions.
We know to well how quickly things can change. Moves happen, deployments happen, life and even death happens and when it does all you have is what you made of those moments.
So make those moments count.
Wear that special silk blouse.
Spray a spritz of that expensive perfume.
and live life!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Here we go again
It's been a good little while since I've blogged and I have plenty to update but for now I just want to blow off some steam. Bare with me or simply ignore me. (Sometimes I feel like it's all I can do to forget what is happening around me.)
Rhetorical question: Did you know that the the last three units Derrick has gone to he has deployed with them within the first three months of being assigned to them? Of course this unit will be no different.
He found out today that his unit was contemplating changing his orders and sending him to another unit. That maybe they wouldn't need another person of his rank but something made them keep him. Then today when they met him and heard about his previous deployment history they commented how glad they were to not let him slip through their fingers. "What an asset he will be..."
Completely rhetorical again: Why do I have to have such a motivated husband? Why does every unit feel the need to put him to use in combat zones?
I know he is one hell of a Marine and obviously he is doing something right, but I would love, LOVE to have him home for two consecutive Christmas' at least once during his twenty years of service. Is that too much to ask? (YES. I know the answer is yes and honestly I am okay with this. I know it's his job. I knew it when I married him and I love him as much if not more for knowing how committed he is to his job and this country, but I can still bitch a little, right?)
At least this time I will be closer to my family support system. And I'm grateful that much of my military support system has or will be making the migration back to the States too.
It's going to be an adventure. Then again, when is life in the military not?
Rhetorical question: Did you know that the the last three units Derrick has gone to he has deployed with them within the first three months of being assigned to them? Of course this unit will be no different.
He found out today that his unit was contemplating changing his orders and sending him to another unit. That maybe they wouldn't need another person of his rank but something made them keep him. Then today when they met him and heard about his previous deployment history they commented how glad they were to not let him slip through their fingers. "What an asset he will be..."
Completely rhetorical again: Why do I have to have such a motivated husband? Why does every unit feel the need to put him to use in combat zones?
I know he is one hell of a Marine and obviously he is doing something right, but I would love, LOVE to have him home for two consecutive Christmas' at least once during his twenty years of service. Is that too much to ask? (YES. I know the answer is yes and honestly I am okay with this. I know it's his job. I knew it when I married him and I love him as much if not more for knowing how committed he is to his job and this country, but I can still bitch a little, right?)
At least this time I will be closer to my family support system. And I'm grateful that much of my military support system has or will be making the migration back to the States too.
It's going to be an adventure. Then again, when is life in the military not?
Friday, March 26, 2010
3 Years of Eisa
I thought I had videos uploaded from all 4 years, but must not have them all on youtube. Here's three years of Eisa performances from Bechtel Elementary School (BES) Ryukyu Festivals. The first two videos were when Brandon was at Bechtel and the last is from this year, when Luke was finally old enough to participate in the Eisa Club.
This is Brandon's second year of Eisa but first year on the Odaiko drum, he is to the right of his teacher and they're playing Miruku Minari. All first year students play the paranku (pah-lan-koo).
Here is Brandon's second year on the Odaiko, this time playing Kariushi, right behind his instructor. This was his final Eisa performance, no performing groups at the middle school level. I love this song, sound
s so pretty. Who am I kidding, I love all the songs they do. I'm gonna miss this place, (and this school). :(
I am so happy we extended on island long enough for Luke to be able to be a part of the Eisa Club. The three previous years he was so envious of Brandon being able to play. He got his time to shine too. This is Ashibina, a song they do every year and one I just can't get enough of. Luke is third behind his instructor and visible off and on through out the video, darn him for being so tall. If he were shorter he'd be right up front. ;)
We've been so lucky to have this opportunity. As an added bonus (for me), Mr. John has a weekly evening class. I can say that with a few minutes to remember the routines, I can play the paranku to each of the above songs right along with the boys. Tons of fun, a nice little work out and a cultural experience I couldn't get anywhere else in the world. If we stuck around a few more months (August) we'd be performing in the 10,000 Eisa Parade. For me, it's almost worth sticking around for...
ALMOST.
This is Brandon's second year of Eisa but first year on the Odaiko drum, he is to the right of his teacher and they're playing Miruku Minari. All first year students play the paranku (pah-lan-koo).
Here is Brandon's second year on the Odaiko, this time playing Kariushi, right behind his instructor. This was his final Eisa performance, no performing groups at the middle school level. I love this song, sound
s so pretty. Who am I kidding, I love all the songs they do. I'm gonna miss this place, (and this school). :(
I am so happy we extended on island long enough for Luke to be able to be a part of the Eisa Club. The three previous years he was so envious of Brandon being able to play. He got his time to shine too. This is Ashibina, a song they do every year and one I just can't get enough of. Luke is third behind his instructor and visible off and on through out the video, darn him for being so tall. If he were shorter he'd be right up front. ;)
We've been so lucky to have this opportunity. As an added bonus (for me), Mr. John has a weekly evening class. I can say that with a few minutes to remember the routines, I can play the paranku to each of the above songs right along with the boys. Tons of fun, a nice little work out and a cultural experience I couldn't get anywhere else in the world. If we stuck around a few more months (August) we'd be performing in the 10,000 Eisa Parade. For me, it's almost worth sticking around for...
ALMOST.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
This might just be our last Family Update from Okinawa
I sent this message out to all the family I have in my e mail address book but in case I don't have an updated e mail address for anyone I'm posting it here again, minus the phone numbers. If you need them then please send me a message, or comment to this blog and I'll be sure to get it to you.
Hello all,
I just wanted to let everyone know that after almost four years in Japan we'll be leaving Okinawa in 3 weeks. With that said, our stateside phone number will only be effective until March 31st. We will be disconnecting it next week and will only be reachable through either e mail or facebook. We do have a stateside cell phone already but until we are in the states we won't have it on/charged. That number is ...-...-.....
The movers are coming to pack us up on April 1st and 5th and on the 8th we move into a hotel. We'll fly into Dallas on the 15th where our Jeep is now waiting. Driving on the right side of the road with the steering wheel on the left should be an adventure.
After a short stop in Texas we're hoping to make it to North Carolina by May 1st. The kids have to get registered for school and we've got a house to close on. Once we get settled in the house I'll send out another e mail with our new address and phone number.
And because I'm sure things will be pretty hectic for us over the next few weeks, I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter.
We send our love,
Denise, Derrick and the kids
Hello all,
I just wanted to let everyone know that after almost four years in Japan we'll be leaving Okinawa in 3 weeks. With that said, our stateside phone number will only be effective until March 31st. We will be disconnecting it next week and will only be reachable through either e mail or facebook. We do have a stateside cell phone already but until we are in the states we won't have it on/charged. That number is ...-...-.....
The movers are coming to pack us up on April 1st and 5th and on the 8th we move into a hotel. We'll fly into Dallas on the 15th where our Jeep is now waiting. Driving on the right side of the road with the steering wheel on the left should be an adventure.
After a short stop in Texas we're hoping to make it to North Carolina by May 1st. The kids have to get registered for school and we've got a house to close on. Once we get settled in the house I'll send out another e mail with our new address and phone number.
And because I'm sure things will be pretty hectic for us over the next few weeks, I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter.
We send our love,
Denise, Derrick and the kids
Monday, March 22, 2010
Okinawa has left me blessed
I cannot begin to explain how blessed I have been by given this opportunity to live on this beautiful island for the last 3 years and 9 months. I have had experiences I may not have had under any other circumstances and being removed from my comfort zone I was able to find out so much about myself and what I really want in life. I'll never forget this amazing adventure.
This is kind of a tribute to the last 4ish years but also a guide for anyone here who has some more exploring they want to do. This is a list of my favorites, all of them I can think of. If there are any places I mention that you'd like directions to, or information about let me know and I'll do what I can to help make your stay here as amazing as mine was.
My Favorite:
Festival- Shishimai Festival in Ishikawa. The first year we were here it was at the bull ring in Agena, just a 5 minute walk from our house. Each year after it was moved to a bigger venue in Ishikawa. I haven't missed a year and fall in love with the music, dancing and of course the amazing liondog or Shisa dances. MCCS does a tour for it, but save the $20 a person, take the drive up, it's a free event and a beautiful park on the beach. Take in more than their schedule will allow. This is followed by a close second, the Nago Cherry Blossom Festival. Put on some comfy shoes and start climbing to the top of the Nago Castle ruins. What a beautiful view, with the cherry blossoms, the city of Nago and the East China Sea below you.
Beach on base- Oura Wan Beach on Camp Schwab. A beautiful beach not many Americans know about tucked away in a bay. Cabanas, volleyball, horseshoes, a boat house and water sports... enjoy this beach while you can. If the Funtenma relocation goes as planned the bay will soon be filled in and this beautiful beach will be destroyed. :( Save the dougong!
Beach off base - Uken Beach, aka "Trash Beach" is a great little beach a few minutes from Camp Courtney. It's on the Pacific Ocean side so it's lacking all the coral and sea life you'd want for snorkeling but it's a great beach with jetties to block the waves. This beach also has rentals and such though we've never needed more than we brought with us.
Place to snorkel w/the kids - Maeda Flats hands down! The kids can snorkel and not worry about being too deep, and in just a few feet of water you can see a million tropical fish. Chasing blue tangs and having the angels nip at your fingers was always a highlight for us. Four years here and I've never actually been to Maeda Point- I've heard the steps are not kid/beginner snorkeler friendly so we've skipped it all together.
Place to snorkel w/o the kids - Sunabe Seawall. It's where I learned to snorkel thanks to a friendly national girl who literally took my hand and walked me waist deep and showed me how beautiful the water was just right there. It's amazing what you don't see from looking down at the water that you can see once you put your face into the water. The seawall has tons of hidden crevasses in the reefs where you can see just about everything. I don't know that I ever got tired of snorkeling off the seawall. If you can, do it & bring an underwater camera. You won't be disappointed.
MCCS Tour- The battle sites tour. What was even better than the MCCS one was the tour Chris Majewski did for Brandon's 5th grade field trip of the tour. He does both the school tours & the MCCS tours but offered so much more information during the school tour. I was amazed at the history this island holds. I knew of the Battle of Okinawa. I didn't realize what our troops endured here, or worse, how the Okinawan people were treated and what they were led to believe about the American GIs. I now understand why many thought the suicide cliffs were such a better option for their families. The NBC evening news has a segment called "Fleecing of America", this was a case of the Japanese Fleecing Okinawa. A very emotional tour, and you'll get both sides of the story. This tour includes the Battle of Okinawa Museum on Kinser, the former Japanese Naval Underground Headquarters, Kakuzu Ridge (Hacksaw Ridge is under construction) and Peace Prayer Park. When we went with the school we didn't make it to Peace Prayer Park but instead went to Himeyuri Peace Museum.
Animal Park - NEO Park! I can say we have been to this park easily a dozen times and have yet to get tired of the cute lemurs crawling across our arms to get a yummy treat or trying to keep up with the wallabies. This is the best hands on animal experience you'll find on the island (& maybe anywhere you've been in the world). The only place I'd skip is the additional fee "petting zoo" it's a sad little area. Maybe if we boycott it, they'll stop nursing baby pigs on dogs. The whole park is in essence a petting zoo, why pay to see dogs, and bunnies. You can see those anywhere. A great thing about this park is the price, you can get tickets at the door for about Y600 yen per adult and less for kids but the better option is to go to Tours Plus and pick up an annual pass for a family of 5 for about $15. (I think it's actually $16 but it's been a while since I bought ours).
Agricultural Park - Nago Pineapple Park. (Like how I worded that, "agricultural park" that way I can include "adventure park", "family park", etc.) I have probably spent as much time at the Pineapple Park as I have at NEO Park (maybe even more). For Y500 you get to go on a narrated self propelled pineapple shaped golf cart voyage through a small forest of varying pineapple related plans. After the ride you can stroll through the forest, plenty of great photo ops, then make your way to the shell gallery. Once you've made your way though the shells head on through the winery and cannery. You can watch workers process fresh Okinawa grown pineapples for canning or wine. Follow up all of that fun with something even better... taste testing. Those of you 20 or older can taste 1 or all 4 pineapple based alcohols, 3 wines and a sparkling champagne. Move on through the wine and you enter into a huge shop where everything in the store is offered as samples. Juices, cakes, cookies, pies, tarts, chocolate- yes pineapple chocolate, and even perfume and body lotions. I almost forgot, and as much fresh picked pineapple as you'd like. Taste one, some or all and buy everything or nothing at all. Well before I say buy nothing at all, before you leave the pineapple park you've got to grab a cone of soft serve pineapple ice cream or one of their amazing pineapple cream puffs, they also have sweet potato for those who love the purple potato delights. :) I've got 3 weeks left on Okinawa, there will be one more trek up to Nago before I leave. Anyone care to join me? We can do a midweek get away while the kids are at school. :)
Adventure Park - Forest Adventure, with no competition! Do it, that's what I have to say about this place. Grow to 4'6" if you're not already and Go, Go Go & hurry up and do it. SO much fun, liberating, exhilarating and just awesome. Oh, bring your camera and 100 yen up for a locker or remember to leave everything in your car. Must have empty pockets for this one.
Roller Slide park - The most amazing roller slide park I've been to is on the grounds of the former Japanese Naval Underground Headquarters. There are two amazing slides the twist, turn and spiral down the hill. I was looking for a link to the park but only found youtube videos. I have my fair share of those for this park but I only want to post informative links, not videos. If you'd like to see them look up Rollerslide by the JNUHQ (Spell the words out though).
Photo spot - Toguchi Beach or Fukushen Chinese Gardens. I don't think the photos on these links do either place justice. Check them out & bring your favorite photographer!
Tourist location- Kokusai Street -totally 'OMGosh Only in Japan' type of place. Nothing will surprise you like half the things you'll find on Kokusai Street. Make a day out of that street alone. Bring plenty of yen for shopping, food and parking. On many weekends you'll see eisa dancers perform in the street, then there's the many festivals that take place there too. You can't live here and not go to Kokusai St at least a time or two. (I've had more than my share of Kokusai St memories) ;)
... more to come.
Food - will also add soon.
Suggestions? Anyone have a favorite location question you want to ask of me? let me know and I'll add my response here.
And to wrap this up, here is a list of some of the "must see/must do" while you're here on Okinawa. These things may not have made it to my favorite list, but definitely something you've got to check out. First and foremost, get OFF BASE. The island is your adventure and the base simply confines you. This island is amazing, don't let this once in a life time opportunity pass you by.
This is kind of a tribute to the last 4ish years but also a guide for anyone here who has some more exploring they want to do. This is a list of my favorites, all of them I can think of. If there are any places I mention that you'd like directions to, or information about let me know and I'll do what I can to help make your stay here as amazing as mine was.
My Favorite:
Festival- Shishimai Festival in Ishikawa. The first year we were here it was at the bull ring in Agena, just a 5 minute walk from our house. Each year after it was moved to a bigger venue in Ishikawa. I haven't missed a year and fall in love with the music, dancing and of course the amazing liondog or Shisa dances. MCCS does a tour for it, but save the $20 a person, take the drive up, it's a free event and a beautiful park on the beach. Take in more than their schedule will allow. This is followed by a close second, the Nago Cherry Blossom Festival. Put on some comfy shoes and start climbing to the top of the Nago Castle ruins. What a beautiful view, with the cherry blossoms, the city of Nago and the East China Sea below you.
Beach on base- Oura Wan Beach on Camp Schwab. A beautiful beach not many Americans know about tucked away in a bay. Cabanas, volleyball, horseshoes, a boat house and water sports... enjoy this beach while you can. If the Funtenma relocation goes as planned the bay will soon be filled in and this beautiful beach will be destroyed. :( Save the dougong!
Beach off base - Uken Beach, aka "Trash Beach" is a great little beach a few minutes from Camp Courtney. It's on the Pacific Ocean side so it's lacking all the coral and sea life you'd want for snorkeling but it's a great beach with jetties to block the waves. This beach also has rentals and such though we've never needed more than we brought with us.
Place to snorkel w/the kids - Maeda Flats hands down! The kids can snorkel and not worry about being too deep, and in just a few feet of water you can see a million tropical fish. Chasing blue tangs and having the angels nip at your fingers was always a highlight for us. Four years here and I've never actually been to Maeda Point- I've heard the steps are not kid/beginner snorkeler friendly so we've skipped it all together.
Place to snorkel w/o the kids - Sunabe Seawall. It's where I learned to snorkel thanks to a friendly national girl who literally took my hand and walked me waist deep and showed me how beautiful the water was just right there. It's amazing what you don't see from looking down at the water that you can see once you put your face into the water. The seawall has tons of hidden crevasses in the reefs where you can see just about everything. I don't know that I ever got tired of snorkeling off the seawall. If you can, do it & bring an underwater camera. You won't be disappointed.
MCCS Tour- The battle sites tour. What was even better than the MCCS one was the tour Chris Majewski did for Brandon's 5th grade field trip of the tour. He does both the school tours & the MCCS tours but offered so much more information during the school tour. I was amazed at the history this island holds. I knew of the Battle of Okinawa. I didn't realize what our troops endured here, or worse, how the Okinawan people were treated and what they were led to believe about the American GIs. I now understand why many thought the suicide cliffs were such a better option for their families. The NBC evening news has a segment called "Fleecing of America", this was a case of the Japanese Fleecing Okinawa. A very emotional tour, and you'll get both sides of the story. This tour includes the Battle of Okinawa Museum on Kinser, the former Japanese Naval Underground Headquarters, Kakuzu Ridge (Hacksaw Ridge is under construction) and Peace Prayer Park. When we went with the school we didn't make it to Peace Prayer Park but instead went to Himeyuri Peace Museum.
Animal Park - NEO Park! I can say we have been to this park easily a dozen times and have yet to get tired of the cute lemurs crawling across our arms to get a yummy treat or trying to keep up with the wallabies. This is the best hands on animal experience you'll find on the island (& maybe anywhere you've been in the world). The only place I'd skip is the additional fee "petting zoo" it's a sad little area. Maybe if we boycott it, they'll stop nursing baby pigs on dogs. The whole park is in essence a petting zoo, why pay to see dogs, and bunnies. You can see those anywhere. A great thing about this park is the price, you can get tickets at the door for about Y600 yen per adult and less for kids but the better option is to go to Tours Plus and pick up an annual pass for a family of 5 for about $15. (I think it's actually $16 but it's been a while since I bought ours).
Agricultural Park - Nago Pineapple Park. (Like how I worded that, "agricultural park" that way I can include "adventure park", "family park", etc.) I have probably spent as much time at the Pineapple Park as I have at NEO Park (maybe even more). For Y500 you get to go on a narrated self propelled pineapple shaped golf cart voyage through a small forest of varying pineapple related plans. After the ride you can stroll through the forest, plenty of great photo ops, then make your way to the shell gallery. Once you've made your way though the shells head on through the winery and cannery. You can watch workers process fresh Okinawa grown pineapples for canning or wine. Follow up all of that fun with something even better... taste testing. Those of you 20 or older can taste 1 or all 4 pineapple based alcohols, 3 wines and a sparkling champagne. Move on through the wine and you enter into a huge shop where everything in the store is offered as samples. Juices, cakes, cookies, pies, tarts, chocolate- yes pineapple chocolate, and even perfume and body lotions. I almost forgot, and as much fresh picked pineapple as you'd like. Taste one, some or all and buy everything or nothing at all. Well before I say buy nothing at all, before you leave the pineapple park you've got to grab a cone of soft serve pineapple ice cream or one of their amazing pineapple cream puffs, they also have sweet potato for those who love the purple potato delights. :) I've got 3 weeks left on Okinawa, there will be one more trek up to Nago before I leave. Anyone care to join me? We can do a midweek get away while the kids are at school. :)
Adventure Park - Forest Adventure, with no competition! Do it, that's what I have to say about this place. Grow to 4'6" if you're not already and Go, Go Go & hurry up and do it. SO much fun, liberating, exhilarating and just awesome. Oh, bring your camera and 100 yen up for a locker or remember to leave everything in your car. Must have empty pockets for this one.
Roller Slide park - The most amazing roller slide park I've been to is on the grounds of the former Japanese Naval Underground Headquarters. There are two amazing slides the twist, turn and spiral down the hill. I was looking for a link to the park but only found youtube videos. I have my fair share of those for this park but I only want to post informative links, not videos. If you'd like to see them look up Rollerslide by the JNUHQ (Spell the words out though).
Photo spot - Toguchi Beach or Fukushen Chinese Gardens. I don't think the photos on these links do either place justice. Check them out & bring your favorite photographer!
Tourist location- Kokusai Street -totally 'OMGosh Only in Japan' type of place. Nothing will surprise you like half the things you'll find on Kokusai Street. Make a day out of that street alone. Bring plenty of yen for shopping, food and parking. On many weekends you'll see eisa dancers perform in the street, then there's the many festivals that take place there too. You can't live here and not go to Kokusai St at least a time or two. (I've had more than my share of Kokusai St memories) ;)
... more to come.
Food - will also add soon.
Suggestions? Anyone have a favorite location question you want to ask of me? let me know and I'll add my response here.
And to wrap this up, here is a list of some of the "must see/must do" while you're here on Okinawa. These things may not have made it to my favorite list, but definitely something you've got to check out. First and foremost, get OFF BASE. The island is your adventure and the base simply confines you. This island is amazing, don't let this once in a life time opportunity pass you by.
*Make it to at least one Bull Fight, Ishikawa holds a free one every year, don't pay $20 for MCCS to get you there.
*Head up to Camp Mc Tureous and hang out with a friend while you pass out candy to the local Okinawan children as they Trick-or-treat. They're so cute, and much more polite than 99% of American kids and it's just a great cultural exchange.
*SchwabFest, actually hit up every Camp or Base Festival, there is one going almost every month of the year.
* Explore the Castle Ruins, all of them.
*While up in Nago, during the Cherry Blossom Festival take a tour through the Orion Beer Tour
*While on Kokusai Street find your way though the maze of shops and check out the fish market.
*Head to American Villiage, play in the arcades, ride the Ferris wheel and head over to Dragon Palace and ride a 4D ride.
*Park hop. Okinawahai.com has a list of parks. See them all, then scout out new ones and add to their list
*If you have kids, get them involved in cultural activities. My boys have been in their schools Eisa Club every year and participated in their Ryukyu Festival. Brandon did it in grades 3-5 and now Luke is getting his turn. Couldn't do something like this in the States. Soak it up!
*Head up to Ocean Expo Park/Churaumi Aqurium
*Snorkel
*Go Deep Sea Fishing
* Hike Hiji Falls
*Explore all the dams around the island. Kurishiki is the closest and a great photo location but there are many others.
* When the Okinawa summer is a tad to hot and humid for you, head on down to Southern Palace Sports Complex and hit the ice.
* Go to the Butterfly Garden in Nago
* Okinawa Fruitlands
* Go whale watching- it'll make for an amazing morning/afternoon. Breath taking, I tell ya!
* Go to the Naha Tug O War, it is the largest in the world. If you're lucky you'll be close enough to tug and at the end, take a piece of the rope home for good luck.
* Go whale watching- it'll make for an amazing morning/afternoon. Breath taking, I tell ya!
* Go to the Naha Tug O War, it is the largest in the world. If you're lucky you'll be close enough to tug and at the end, take a piece of the rope home for good luck.
*Head to Ryukru Mura, take in the shows and see how the island was like in the 1800s
*run a marathon, participate in Tour de Okinawa or just sit on the sidelines and CHEER those athletes on. They are doing something amazing!
*Take in the view of Cape Hedo, then travel down the Pacific side of the island to find the many look outs that offer a beautiful view of the most northern point of the island.
* Tour Shuri-jo Castle
* Camp on the beach
*travel off island if you can. Plenty of opportunities available
*get a Cocok's pedicure (at least one)
* Stop and eat at every hole in the wall place, and also every bright lighted flashy place you pass. Don't let fear of the unknown stop you.
* and I would be withholding information if I didn't throw out there the Banana Show. Not for everyone, really NOT for everyone but it's one of those things that words cannot describe (& maybe shouldn't).
A few things I've yet to do, but would love to before we leave:
Parasail over the East China Sea
The Southeast Botanical Gardens
Hike Hiji Falls, (I say do it, but haven't yet) :(
Do you have any suggestions for me?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I read this and thought of you
You is figurative. It is for every American who shares their life with someone who has served overseas in a combat environment, and more poignantly it's for every service member who makes that sacrifice.
I look forward to seeing this documentary when we return to the States and hope that it is played nationwide and more specifically in all military communities. America needs to know what these brave men go through, and those brave men need to know that they are not alone.
Back From Iraq war, and alone. By Mike Scotti
It was 2003, and I was attending a friend's wedding. As I sat at the table listening to the conversation, I suddenly realized that someone who had never been in combat could never even remotely understand what I had just been through.
I looked around. The chamber music quartet, the beautiful bridesmaids, the steak dinner ... none of it was real. My buddies were, at that moment, probably on patrol and quite possibly engaged with the enemy. That was real.
And as for the other guests at the table who were staring at me in my dress blues, we were no longer even the same species.
As the Iraq war winds down and those troops return home, and as other soldiers and Marines cycle in and out of Afghanistan, a new generation of Americans --vets' family members, friends and co-workers, a population basically untouched, unbothered by the fact of a faraway war -- will have to develop a fresh mindfulness of what these hundreds of thousands of men and women have been through and may be struggling with when they return.
There is a new generation of combat veterans and, as I discovered through personal experience, we all must be conscious of what, exactly, this means.
When I returned I became aware that, though I had hoped my days on the battlefield were finally over, I was in for one last fight. There was a new and unexpected foe: the feeling of isolation from the people all around you at home.
Their complaints seem trivial: The plane is delayed 30 minutes. They put onions on your sandwich. You don't like your job. "You think you got problems, pal?" is the thought that would go through my mind. I would think of the people I knew that were still over there -- in convoys hitting IEDs that rip apart armored vehicles and the troops inside them, or on patrol caught in a firefight in some dusty alley somewhere. Or of close friends that I had already lost.
This sense of isolation, if not dealt with, can quickly lead to problems with loved ones, with colleagues or worse; self-destructive behaviors feed upon themselves, pulling the vet down the wrong path. The isolation can also manifest itself in feelings of anger or resentment.
For the first year after I returned from Iraq, the only people to whom I felt really connected were those who had served in combat -- in any war -- or those who had lost family members on 9/11. In my mind, they were the only ones who "understood."
For warriors who return and have fulfilled their active- duty obligation, and swing from active military service in a war zone to becoming a civilian in a matter of days, the transformation is particularly traumatic. What's more, because there is no draft in the United States, there is a far smaller pool of the nation's population serving in conflicts or with military experience, unlike during World War II or the Vietnam War, making the search for shared understanding and a connection even more challenging.
The Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America brilliantly portrayed this feeling of isolation in a 2008 ad where a soldier returning from the war walks through an empty airport. He continues through downtown Manhattan, which is also completely empty. No cars. No people. It isn't until a young veteran approaches the soldier with a handshake, a smile and pat on the back saying, "Welcome home, man," that the street becomes populated.
I was a bit shaken the first time I saw it, as it immediately resonated with me. It hit an exposed nerve, and I knew that those guys at the IAVA "got it." They knew exactly where we were coming from.
The problem, of course, is that we, as veterans, live the rest of our young lives in the "civilian" world and not on the battlefield. It took me several months to fully comprehend this. After realizing that my sense of isolation was alienating me from those I loved, I made the conscious decision to use my experiences in combat as a source of great strength, versus letting them become a weakness.
I realized that I just needed to "Let it go, man. Just let it go." Choose the high road. Take the "good" lessons learned from war -- the initiative, focus, discipline, attention to detail and strategic planning -- and apply them to everyday life. Drop the bad, the resentment, anger and isolation. There is no place for any of them in a happy, healthy or successful person's mind.
In the years since then, I have embarked on two key missions: to help the families of veterans in need and to tell the world the story of what it is like to serve in combat.
The first mission was to help provide financial support to those who have been adversely affected by being called to active duty. The platform to do so is a nonprofit charity I helped found five years ago called Reserve Aid , which has helped several hundred veteran families cope financially with deployments, including providing short-term relief for many servicemen and women who have been wounded, but who may have delays in getting disability benefits. To date, Reserve Aid's grants top $3 million, money donated by individuals, through corporate matching programs and direct corporate giving.
The second mission was to tell the world what it is like to be in combat, and to hopefully create a "shared experience" to help bridge the "isolation gap" -- to educate the people who have not served about what it is like for those who did. The film ""Severe Clear" is a cinematic representation of my experiences in the war, using footage shot by me and other Marines, and it does just that. Set as a first-person narrative, it offers an unflinching, uncensored look at what it is like to fight a war.
I believe it captures the chaos and complexity of it all, and intimately reveals the human elements of combat. And I think it is unique because it is a story told by someone who is actively engaged in fighting the war, and it bares all: the good, the bad, and everything else in between -- the parts of war that the rest of the nation should understand.
I look forward to seeing this documentary when we return to the States and hope that it is played nationwide and more specifically in all military communities. America needs to know what these brave men go through, and those brave men need to know that they are not alone.
Back From Iraq war, and alone. By Mike Scotti
Back from Iraq war, and alone
March 10, 2010 -- Updated 1905 GMT (0305 HKT)
Editor's note: Mike Scotti served as a U.S. Marine in Afghanistan in 2001 and Iraq in 2003, and is a founding board member of Reserve Aid, a military-themed, nonprofit charity. He is the founder of the Military Veterans Club at the NYU Stern School of Business and is the subject of the documentary film "Severe Clear," which opens in New York on Friday.
New York (CNN) -- A few days after I had returned from a six-month deployment to Iraq, my second sojourn in the Middle East since 2001, I remember feeling like I was an alien creature from some other planet.It was 2003, and I was attending a friend's wedding. As I sat at the table listening to the conversation, I suddenly realized that someone who had never been in combat could never even remotely understand what I had just been through.
I looked around. The chamber music quartet, the beautiful bridesmaids, the steak dinner ... none of it was real. My buddies were, at that moment, probably on patrol and quite possibly engaged with the enemy. That was real.
And as for the other guests at the table who were staring at me in my dress blues, we were no longer even the same species.
As the Iraq war winds down and those troops return home, and as other soldiers and Marines cycle in and out of Afghanistan, a new generation of Americans --vets' family members, friends and co-workers, a population basically untouched, unbothered by the fact of a faraway war -- will have to develop a fresh mindfulness of what these hundreds of thousands of men and women have been through and may be struggling with when they return.
There is a new generation of combat veterans and, as I discovered through personal experience, we all must be conscious of what, exactly, this means.
When I returned I became aware that, though I had hoped my days on the battlefield were finally over, I was in for one last fight. There was a new and unexpected foe: the feeling of isolation from the people all around you at home.
Their complaints seem trivial: The plane is delayed 30 minutes. They put onions on your sandwich. You don't like your job. "You think you got problems, pal?" is the thought that would go through my mind. I would think of the people I knew that were still over there -- in convoys hitting IEDs that rip apart armored vehicles and the troops inside them, or on patrol caught in a firefight in some dusty alley somewhere. Or of close friends that I had already lost.
This sense of isolation, if not dealt with, can quickly lead to problems with loved ones, with colleagues or worse; self-destructive behaviors feed upon themselves, pulling the vet down the wrong path. The isolation can also manifest itself in feelings of anger or resentment.
For the first year after I returned from Iraq, the only people to whom I felt really connected were those who had served in combat -- in any war -- or those who had lost family members on 9/11. In my mind, they were the only ones who "understood."
For warriors who return and have fulfilled their active- duty obligation, and swing from active military service in a war zone to becoming a civilian in a matter of days, the transformation is particularly traumatic. What's more, because there is no draft in the United States, there is a far smaller pool of the nation's population serving in conflicts or with military experience, unlike during World War II or the Vietnam War, making the search for shared understanding and a connection even more challenging.
The Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America brilliantly portrayed this feeling of isolation in a 2008 ad where a soldier returning from the war walks through an empty airport. He continues through downtown Manhattan, which is also completely empty. No cars. No people. It isn't until a young veteran approaches the soldier with a handshake, a smile and pat on the back saying, "Welcome home, man," that the street becomes populated.
I was a bit shaken the first time I saw it, as it immediately resonated with me. It hit an exposed nerve, and I knew that those guys at the IAVA "got it." They knew exactly where we were coming from.
The problem, of course, is that we, as veterans, live the rest of our young lives in the "civilian" world and not on the battlefield. It took me several months to fully comprehend this. After realizing that my sense of isolation was alienating me from those I loved, I made the conscious decision to use my experiences in combat as a source of great strength, versus letting them become a weakness.
I realized that I just needed to "Let it go, man. Just let it go." Choose the high road. Take the "good" lessons learned from war -- the initiative, focus, discipline, attention to detail and strategic planning -- and apply them to everyday life. Drop the bad, the resentment, anger and isolation. There is no place for any of them in a happy, healthy or successful person's mind.
In the years since then, I have embarked on two key missions: to help the families of veterans in need and to tell the world the story of what it is like to serve in combat.
The first mission was to help provide financial support to those who have been adversely affected by being called to active duty. The platform to do so is a nonprofit charity I helped found five years ago called Reserve Aid , which has helped several hundred veteran families cope financially with deployments, including providing short-term relief for many servicemen and women who have been wounded, but who may have delays in getting disability benefits. To date, Reserve Aid's grants top $3 million, money donated by individuals, through corporate matching programs and direct corporate giving.
The second mission was to tell the world what it is like to be in combat, and to hopefully create a "shared experience" to help bridge the "isolation gap" -- to educate the people who have not served about what it is like for those who did. The film ""Severe Clear" is a cinematic representation of my experiences in the war, using footage shot by me and other Marines, and it does just that. Set as a first-person narrative, it offers an unflinching, uncensored look at what it is like to fight a war.
I believe it captures the chaos and complexity of it all, and intimately reveals the human elements of combat. And I think it is unique because it is a story told by someone who is actively engaged in fighting the war, and it bares all: the good, the bad, and everything else in between -- the parts of war that the rest of the nation should understand.
The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Mike Scotti.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
I can see it but...
... can't quite smell or taste it - yet.
Today is Derrick's big day, well, one of them. Today is his Marine Corps anniversary. Fourteen years ago today he became one of The Few, The Proud, The Marines! In that time he's accomplished so much and seen so much of the world in ways many can never fully imagine. I'm so proud of him.
That light at the end of the tunnel is getting a little brighter. Retirement is now as soon as six years away!
Congratulations Derrick on surviving fourteen crazy years offered courtesy of the United States Marine Corps. I'm looking forward to sharing the next six (or more) years of Marine Corps adventures with you!
Today is Derrick's big day, well, one of them. Today is his Marine Corps anniversary. Fourteen years ago today he became one of The Few, The Proud, The Marines! In that time he's accomplished so much and seen so much of the world in ways many can never fully imagine. I'm so proud of him.
That light at the end of the tunnel is getting a little brighter. Retirement is now as soon as six years away!
Congratulations Derrick on surviving fourteen crazy years offered courtesy of the United States Marine Corps. I'm looking forward to sharing the next six (or more) years of Marine Corps adventures with you!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Too many choices
Our builder has a designer working on putting together color schemes for the house. I just got the first set for the exterior. These are just sketch renderings and if I don't like any of them I can choose otherwise. I am having a hard time deciding which ones I like but I definitely have a few I don't. So I'm asking you for some input. Which color schemes do you think look best?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Afghanistan through the eyes of Sgt. Borja
Afghanistan through the eyes of a good friend, and another look into how Derrick and his team lived for 10 months in Afghanistan. Some of the images are tough to see and the language is sometimes undesirable but what you have is the truth as they lived it.
Monday, February 22, 2010
All Clear!
Today had been a pretty awesome day. By Tuesday morning Okinawa time it's Monday evening on the east coast and I've come to LOVE Tuesday mornings.
It seems every Tuesday we wake up to something new from our Realtor, Broker or in today's case, Broker and NC DMV.
Everything is now on track to re-plate & register our Jeep. Now we're good to pick it up in Texas then drive on through to NC. Woohoo! We received a response from our broker with some great news too. But the best thing about today is the call I just received.
The nurse from my medical clinic just called to let me know my most recent tests have come back NEGATIVE! A year or so of craziness, a few months of serious stress, uncomfortable tests and worry of cancer followed by months of waiting & I got the all clear, no regrowth!
Still have to do the annual checks but my 6 months recheck was fantastic & I'm over the moon!
It seems every Tuesday we wake up to something new from our Realtor, Broker or in today's case, Broker and NC DMV.
Everything is now on track to re-plate & register our Jeep. Now we're good to pick it up in Texas then drive on through to NC. Woohoo! We received a response from our broker with some great news too. But the best thing about today is the call I just received.
The nurse from my medical clinic just called to let me know my most recent tests have come back NEGATIVE! A year or so of craziness, a few months of serious stress, uncomfortable tests and worry of cancer followed by months of waiting & I got the all clear, no regrowth!
Still have to do the annual checks but my 6 months recheck was fantastic & I'm over the moon!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Reminiscing
I was chatting with my neighbor today, talking about Derrick and I and 'our story'. I told her that I wrote a blog with all the details a few years ago and I'd try to find it. Well, I found it.
It was hard not to completely rewrite it, I can't believe some of the spelling errors I had (I did fix those). I think I left most of the grammatical ones though. That way, if you take the time to read this little novel you can laugh at my uneducated self between all the "aww"s and "What were they/he/she thinking?"s.
Leah, and anyone else who'd like to hear most of how Derrick & I found our way back to each other- here it is as I remembered it just about 3 years ago.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Happily ever after
Current Mood: grateful
Okay so I know I should be at the BX right now, but I just finished talking to a friend and sharing a little history and just feel really cheesy and amazed and well just grateful I guess. Tell me this isn't the cutest happily ever after story EVER.
My high school sweetheart, we date for about a year before ending things. We moved apart and shortly after I find that I am pregnant. We live our separate lives 1500 miles away with little contact through the years. Four years later I decided to call the last number I knew for him- his moms house, and sure enough he's home on leave. He's since started his adult life in the Marine Corps. After regaining my composure, because I never thought in a million years that he would be there, let alone answering the phone, we talked for a good 2-3 hours. He was flying back to San Diego the next day and he told me he would call. I didn't expect to hear from him again, at least not anytime soon. That evening to my surprise he called and we talked again for hours. He was supposed to leave that Tuesday but his flight was pushed back to the following Monday. So we planned a weekend meeting midway between the base he was at & the city I lived in for the upcoming weekend. I was in Sacramento and he was in San Diego. One of his friends had just gotten married and his wife lived in Bakersfield. So the next weekend we (my mom, Melanie and I) drove down and met and he came up. As we parked the car I saw two people coming towards us, but couldn't see their faces. I knew which one was him just by his walk, and when I saw him, I was lost. That was the first weekend he saw Melanie and it was perfect. Maybe a little too perfect. She immediately knew who he was and attached to him as if he'd been in her life all along. And for us, he and I, it was like time had stood still. Everything that was there back in high school, all the emotions came flooding back. The next morning we sat at breakfast at Denny's I think. My mom joked with us about when the wedding was. What she didn't know was we had been talking about it almost all night, I don't know that we slept at all. Honestly, I think we were both thinking more along the lines of when he returned from his deployment.
It was hard not to completely rewrite it, I can't believe some of the spelling errors I had (I did fix those). I think I left most of the grammatical ones though. That way, if you take the time to read this little novel you can laugh at my uneducated self between all the "aww"s and "What were they/he/she thinking?"s.
Leah, and anyone else who'd like to hear most of how Derrick & I found our way back to each other- here it is as I remembered it just about 3 years ago.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Happily ever after
Current Mood: grateful
Okay so I know I should be at the BX right now, but I just finished talking to a friend and sharing a little history and just feel really cheesy and amazed and well just grateful I guess. Tell me this isn't the cutest happily ever after story EVER.
My high school sweetheart, we date for about a year before ending things. We moved apart and shortly after I find that I am pregnant. We live our separate lives 1500 miles away with little contact through the years. Four years later I decided to call the last number I knew for him- his moms house, and sure enough he's home on leave. He's since started his adult life in the Marine Corps. After regaining my composure, because I never thought in a million years that he would be there, let alone answering the phone, we talked for a good 2-3 hours. He was flying back to San Diego the next day and he told me he would call. I didn't expect to hear from him again, at least not anytime soon. That evening to my surprise he called and we talked again for hours. He was supposed to leave that Tuesday but his flight was pushed back to the following Monday. So we planned a weekend meeting midway between the base he was at & the city I lived in for the upcoming weekend. I was in Sacramento and he was in San Diego. One of his friends had just gotten married and his wife lived in Bakersfield. So the next weekend we (my mom, Melanie and I) drove down and met and he came up. As we parked the car I saw two people coming towards us, but couldn't see their faces. I knew which one was him just by his walk, and when I saw him, I was lost. That was the first weekend he saw Melanie and it was perfect. Maybe a little too perfect. She immediately knew who he was and attached to him as if he'd been in her life all along. And for us, he and I, it was like time had stood still. Everything that was there back in high school, all the emotions came flooding back. The next morning we sat at breakfast at Denny's I think. My mom joked with us about when the wedding was. What she didn't know was we had been talking about it almost all night, I don't know that we slept at all. Honestly, I think we were both thinking more along the lines of when he returned from his deployment.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
365 days later.
A year ago today both Derrick in Afghanistan & the boys & I here faced some pretty stressful situations (to say the least). What a difference a year makes. So thankful to have come through it unscathed.
We've spent the weekend together doing things as a family. Not so much forgetting the fact that it's Valentine's Day but focusing on us as a family (& very much missing Melanie) rather than focusing on Derrick and I as a couple.
After last year, and a Friday night spent going through video footage and photos we were reminded of how precious our time is together. I don't want or need diamonds or precious gemstones. I don't need a [holi]day to remind me to appreciate everything I have been blessed with. I have my husband healthy and for now he's home and I have three beautiful (sometimes wild and crazy) children. There's not much else I could ask for.
(For a recap of last years Valentine's you can click here to read that blog.)
We've spent the weekend together doing things as a family. Not so much forgetting the fact that it's Valentine's Day but focusing on us as a family (& very much missing Melanie) rather than focusing on Derrick and I as a couple.
After last year, and a Friday night spent going through video footage and photos we were reminded of how precious our time is together. I don't want or need diamonds or precious gemstones. I don't need a [holi]day to remind me to appreciate everything I have been blessed with. I have my husband healthy and for now he's home and I have three beautiful (sometimes wild and crazy) children. There's not much else I could ask for.
(For a recap of last years Valentine's you can click here to read that blog.)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
What a difference a day [or month] makes
Every new year you hope for better things to come. For us, January came crashing in with a vengeance, or so it seemed. We were hit with a pretty intense blow that shook us pretty good. Not that there is ever a good time for bad news but the timing was off, or it was off from what our plan was.
I've always been a person who believes 2 things: Everything happens for a reason, and God won't give you more than you can handle. We're an awesome family (if I say so myself) and I knew we could handle it all, and even do it with a little bit of grace. What I seemed to forget a few times is the first one.
It's all making sense and not just for the obvious reasons. This, this change is what we needed now. It made us realize things about ourselves, and each other. We were reminded of the strength we have, individually and as couple and as a family and we realized exactly where our priorities are and where we need to be to be our best.
January was a tough month, but we pulled through. I can even look back and say it was a good month in spite of all the uncertainty.
As chaotic as January was, we never would have expected for February to blow in so gracefully. We're only 5 days in and the changes we've seen are so drastic. The blow we took last month was reduced to a small bump in the road and we received a wonderful prognosis. Add to that, this unexpected change in plans has turned into a huge blessing in disguise.
It's a little scary how smoothly everything has fallen into place and we're still very cautious, but the idea of a little bit of smooth sailing sure is a pleasant thought.
I've always been a person who believes 2 things: Everything happens for a reason, and God won't give you more than you can handle. We're an awesome family (if I say so myself) and I knew we could handle it all, and even do it with a little bit of grace. What I seemed to forget a few times is the first one.
It's all making sense and not just for the obvious reasons. This, this change is what we needed now. It made us realize things about ourselves, and each other. We were reminded of the strength we have, individually and as couple and as a family and we realized exactly where our priorities are and where we need to be to be our best.
January was a tough month, but we pulled through. I can even look back and say it was a good month in spite of all the uncertainty.
As chaotic as January was, we never would have expected for February to blow in so gracefully. We're only 5 days in and the changes we've seen are so drastic. The blow we took last month was reduced to a small bump in the road and we received a wonderful prognosis. Add to that, this unexpected change in plans has turned into a huge blessing in disguise.
It's a little scary how smoothly everything has fallen into place and we're still very cautious, but the idea of a little bit of smooth sailing sure is a pleasant thought.
Monday, January 25, 2010
The good, the bad and the ugly
I'm going to see if I can stick with that order. Something tells me that as I write more, more good, bad or ugly may come to mind. So bear with me and my possible all-over-the-placeness. (yes, I'm creating my own words for this blog. Is that really a new thing for me?)
Good. adj. 1. being positive or desirable in nature; not bad or poor
*We have orders, and we got a coast. Good for about half our friends and family.
*We'll be leaving Okinawa soon. How soon? See below. I'm still debating if that's bad or ugly.
*No more DoDDea schools. We have had some wonderful (AMAZING) teachers but the schools are so other than desirable 95% of the time.
* It's a type of unit he's been to before so we know the hours, routines and have an idea of the schedule.
*I'll be in Okinawa long enough to finish the class I picked up yesterday Almost wish I would have enrolled in one or two more classes now. Nah!
Bad. adj. 1. wrong; acting against the law; not good
The bad is all about perspective. Some of these things are good for some, bad for others.
*Location. Not our first choice and bad for about half our friends and family.
*The timing is wrong and SLOW very slow. We're down to one car, paying month to month insurance. Paying for both a Stateside cell phone and a local one. We can opt out of the contract for the one here but I want it still and we're stuck paying for the one in the states (that won't work here) whether we use it or not.
*To add to the timing issue, the time frame we're given, the boys may run into some issues with transferring schools before the early withdrawal date here. We might not end up at our final destination until after the school year has ended there. DoDDea runs through June and if I remember correctly stateside schools (on either coast) wrap up in May.
*It's a type of unit he's been to before so we know the hours, routines and have an idea of the schedule.
Ugly. adj. 2. disagreeable; unpleasant; objectionable (definition 2 works best for this blog)
*The timing. Clearly it's all wrong. Derrick made a phone call to see about getting the dates pushed earlier and was told no for two reasons. 1. He extended on Okinawa until May so we can't leave until closer to that date. 2. his new unit is currently in Afghanistan.There's one possible loop hole but it requires a lot of time, efforts, and talking to all the right people and still the possibility of being shot down, and while Derrick doesn't officially have a job here anymore, they're still keeping him pretty busy.
*Yes. I did just say Afghanistan. With everything he's been through and the teasing of a non-deployable unit so he can recover, they send him to an artillery unit, ARTILLERY? Yeah, those good ole days of never seeing him because he's in the field training, doing deployment work ups or is simply deployed. If it's anything like his first 4 years, we're in for some serious adjustments and plenty more quality mom and kids time. Because 40 months of deployment just isn't enough... (sorry, unnecessary sarcasm).
*I'm going to hop to a good(ish). At least they'll just be returning from Afghanistan. Derrick won't deploy again until their dwell time is complete. I'm guessing another 6-9 months before they'd go again.
I think that's it for right now. I'm sure I'll have more to add to the good, the bad and the ugly but for now I think I'm done. So the gist of it all is, we'll be heading back to the States within the next 3-4 months and Derrick will be returning to an artillery unit.
Anyone still scratching their heads? Clearly there have been some changes from the original plan. I'll save that for another blog.
To our friends in Okinawa, you're stuck with us a little longer. (We wanted to leave within the next 3-4 weeks).
To our friends and family in the states, we'll start making our rounds once we get settled, most likely starting from the east and heading west. ;)
Have I left you all in enough suspense?
Love ya'll. :)
Good. adj. 1. being positive or desirable in nature; not bad or poor
*We have orders, and we got a coast. Good for about half our friends and family.
*We'll be leaving Okinawa soon. How soon? See below. I'm still debating if that's bad or ugly.
*No more DoDDea schools. We have had some wonderful (AMAZING) teachers but the schools are so other than desirable 95% of the time.
* It's a type of unit he's been to before so we know the hours, routines and have an idea of the schedule.
*I'll be in Okinawa long enough to finish the class I picked up yesterday Almost wish I would have enrolled in one or two more classes now. Nah!
Bad. adj. 1. wrong; acting against the law; not good
The bad is all about perspective. Some of these things are good for some, bad for others.
*Location. Not our first choice and bad for about half our friends and family.
*The timing is wrong and SLOW very slow. We're down to one car, paying month to month insurance. Paying for both a Stateside cell phone and a local one. We can opt out of the contract for the one here but I want it still and we're stuck paying for the one in the states (that won't work here) whether we use it or not.
*To add to the timing issue, the time frame we're given, the boys may run into some issues with transferring schools before the early withdrawal date here. We might not end up at our final destination until after the school year has ended there. DoDDea runs through June and if I remember correctly stateside schools (on either coast) wrap up in May.
*It's a type of unit he's been to before so we know the hours, routines and have an idea of the schedule.
Ugly. adj. 2. disagreeable; unpleasant; objectionable (definition 2 works best for this blog)
*Yes. I did just say Afghanistan. With everything he's been through and the teasing of a non-deployable unit so he can recover, they send him to an artillery unit, ARTILLERY? Yeah, those good ole days of never seeing him because he's in the field training, doing deployment work ups or is simply deployed. If it's anything like his first 4 years, we're in for some serious adjustments and plenty more quality mom and kids time. Because 40 months of deployment just isn't enough... (sorry, unnecessary sarcasm).
*I'm going to hop to a good(ish). At least they'll just be returning from Afghanistan. Derrick won't deploy again until their dwell time is complete. I'm guessing another 6-9 months before they'd go again.
I think that's it for right now. I'm sure I'll have more to add to the good, the bad and the ugly but for now I think I'm done. So the gist of it all is, we'll be heading back to the States within the next 3-4 months and Derrick will be returning to an artillery unit.
Anyone still scratching their heads? Clearly there have been some changes from the original plan. I'll save that for another blog.
To our friends in Okinawa, you're stuck with us a little longer. (We wanted to leave within the next 3-4 weeks).
To our friends and family in the states, we'll start making our rounds once we get settled, most likely starting from the east and heading west. ;)
Have I left you all in enough suspense?
Love ya'll. :)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Bursting that bubble
My blogs here have changed a little with the new year. They're coming fewer and farther between, not so much because I'm writing less but because the nature of what I'm writing. Over the past few weeks there have been some changes and they've caused me to be a bit selective in what I publish publicly. So for now, what you'll find here are my funny moments and random or everyday encounters. The blogs where I really open up about what I'm feeling and such, those are now reserved for my private blog.
Enough with the explaining, time for the funny stuff. :)
For a few years now Derrick has told the kids there is no Santa Claus. That he doesn't think it's fair that some magical fat man who plays with elves and rides around on flying reindeer gets credit for all the gifts that really came from a years worth of hard work. Ironically the more Derrick jokes about it, the more they don't believe him.
Knowing this about him, I shouldn't have been surprised when I heard what I did last night.
Yesterday when Brandon came in from school he told me that he woke up around midnight the night before just long enough for his tooth to fall out. He bagged it and tucked it under his pillow, I guess. He didn't specify.
Last night after the boys were in bed I was talking to Derrick about the alarm situation for the morning. I asked him if he'd be sure to swap out the tooth for some money before he left. He said he already took care of it.
"How did you do that? Brandon just went to bed."
"This afternoon. I told him you know the tooth fairy doesn't exist, right? Yeah, so give me your tooth." Then he handed him a dollar.
I was beside myself. I couldn't believe this just happened, so nonchalantly at that. I laughed, it was all I could think to do.
That's when Derrick reminded me that Brandon is eleven, and a boy at that. As if gender has anything to do with this. But I suppose he is getting old enough to realize something fishy about a fairy giving him money for teeth. It doesn't help that Duane Johnson (a.k.a. the Rock) is prancing around in a pink tutu and fairy wings on TV promoting his new movie.
I know kids grow up and they grow out of fairies but it's bittersweet. Just means that I've got one more that's grown up too much. How can I keep Luke little just a little longer. If eleven is the (un)magical age then I've only got 2 more years of magic left.
Enough with the explaining, time for the funny stuff. :)
For a few years now Derrick has told the kids there is no Santa Claus. That he doesn't think it's fair that some magical fat man who plays with elves and rides around on flying reindeer gets credit for all the gifts that really came from a years worth of hard work. Ironically the more Derrick jokes about it, the more they don't believe him.
Knowing this about him, I shouldn't have been surprised when I heard what I did last night.
Yesterday when Brandon came in from school he told me that he woke up around midnight the night before just long enough for his tooth to fall out. He bagged it and tucked it under his pillow, I guess. He didn't specify.
Last night after the boys were in bed I was talking to Derrick about the alarm situation for the morning. I asked him if he'd be sure to swap out the tooth for some money before he left. He said he already took care of it.
"How did you do that? Brandon just went to bed."
"This afternoon. I told him you know the tooth fairy doesn't exist, right? Yeah, so give me your tooth." Then he handed him a dollar.
I was beside myself. I couldn't believe this just happened, so nonchalantly at that. I laughed, it was all I could think to do.
That's when Derrick reminded me that Brandon is eleven, and a boy at that. As if gender has anything to do with this. But I suppose he is getting old enough to realize something fishy about a fairy giving him money for teeth. It doesn't help that Duane Johnson (a.k.a. the Rock) is prancing around in a pink tutu and fairy wings on TV promoting his new movie.
I know kids grow up and they grow out of fairies but it's bittersweet. Just means that I've got one more that's grown up too much. How can I keep Luke little just a little longer. If eleven is the (un)magical age then I've only got 2 more years of magic left.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
My first blog of 2010
And it's simply because I'm grinning from ear to ear after watching a clip from the Colbert Report and I have nobody to share the smile with. By default, YOU win!
I just love Colbert. He always cracks me up. This was just one more of his moments. I really liked the song before, but he makes it awesome. That and his suit and hoodie combo, made it all perfect. :)
I just love Colbert. He always cracks me up. This was just one more of his moments. I really liked the song before, but he makes it awesome. That and his suit and hoodie combo, made it all perfect. :)
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Alicia Keys - Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down | ||||
| ||||
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)