I was told today that "no explanation is required because good friends understand" but I still feel like I need to apologize and explain the distance I've put between myself and the friends who are generally closest to me. Even if it's not a proximal distance it has been an emotional one.
I was explained as a hermit when Derrick is gone. It's quite a difference for me against when he is home, but it is a true statement. If I have a relationship/friendship with you, one with depth and personal emotions involved then I've probably avoided down time with you. For that I apologize. I haven't avoided our friendship to hurt you or to purposely jeopardize our relationship but rather to spare me from having to deal with the thoughts and worries that have occupied my mind for the past 9 or so months. It's hard to be fake, or to mask true emotions from someone so close, so avoidance is my defense mechanism.
I'm a bum for being such a butt head and for all of this, I'm sorry. Pwease forgive me. :)
& give me a few weeks and we're gonna have to have one heck of a reunion party!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
For the family [& good friends]
If you're connected to Derrick on facebook then you already know he's in route home. Unfortunately it's not as simple as his status updates make it sound. He is only on the first leg of his trek home and will be a 1-2 week process. What he has been proclaiming with such enthusiasm is his leaving the COP (combat outpost) he has been at the past nine months. He is now at Bagram and tells me, and I quote, "no need to worry any more I'm in a safe location." If only it were that simple, right? When he's in my sights at the airport terminal I'll stop worrying.
He let me know that he will be there for a handful of days (I have the numbers but I won't post them for security purposes) then he will start the rest of his journey home. As much as I would love for the final legs of this trip to start today I know that he needs this time at Bagram to decompress and readjust to a non-combat environment. I noticed a tension in his tone, but more poignantly he noticed it and saw that it was, or could be a problem if he doesn't have time to readjust.
As many problems that I've had with this command, and boy have I had a ton, I am grateful that they were able to get him from his previous location to BAF for this down time before his return home. That's one thing (might be the only thing) I can say that they did to support Derrick and his team.
Derrick isn't sure yet how much time or access he'll have on the internet over the next few days/weeks, so not sure what type of updates he'll be posting if any. As I find out more (that I'm able to pass along) I will. Until then, it's the last minute dash to get everything just perfect before his homecoming!
About darn time!
He let me know that he will be there for a handful of days (I have the numbers but I won't post them for security purposes) then he will start the rest of his journey home. As much as I would love for the final legs of this trip to start today I know that he needs this time at Bagram to decompress and readjust to a non-combat environment. I noticed a tension in his tone, but more poignantly he noticed it and saw that it was, or could be a problem if he doesn't have time to readjust.
As many problems that I've had with this command, and boy have I had a ton, I am grateful that they were able to get him from his previous location to BAF for this down time before his return home. That's one thing (might be the only thing) I can say that they did to support Derrick and his team.
Derrick isn't sure yet how much time or access he'll have on the internet over the next few days/weeks, so not sure what type of updates he'll be posting if any. As I find out more (that I'm able to pass along) I will. Until then, it's the last minute dash to get everything just perfect before his homecoming!
About darn time!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Who?
Who is my reader from Stafford, VA that uses a MAC computer. I have 5 hits over the past 2 days from that particular IP address to one specific blog and the more I see it the more I wonder "who in VA is reading my blogs?" My next thought is, what did I write in that blog that is so exciting?
If it's you post a comment on this blog, or an e mail directly if you have my address.
If it's you post a comment on this blog, or an e mail directly if you have my address.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Info for my fellow Military Spouses - MyCAA
Here is the Fact Sheet for a $6000 annual grant that many spouses will qualify for. What good is a grant if nobody knows it's out there. I hope that all of you reaching for your academic goals are able to use this program.
*Can I add, it sure pays to be a volunteer. I wouldn't have found out about this had I not been involved with my husband's unit. It was only through networking that this nugget of information was passed onto me.
Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA)
Program Sponsor: Office of the Deputy Under Secretary of Defense for Military Community & Family Policy (DUSD/MC&FP)
Program Description: The Department of Defense’s expanded Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) program will provide up to $6,000 of Financial Assistance for military spouses who are pursuing degree programs, licenses or credentials leading to employment in portable career fields.
Who Is Eligible: Spouses of Active Duty members of the Department of Defense and activated members of the National Guard and Reserve Components are eligible. The period of eligibility for spouses of Guard and Reserve members is from the date of the Alert or Warning Order for Military Recall or Mobilization, through activation and deployment until 180 days following De-Mobilization. Spouses of the severely injured, ill, wounded or killed in action are also eligible.
Military spouses who are legally separated by state law or court order are ineligible. Spouses who are active duty members or activated Guard or Reserve members themselves are ineligible. Coast Guard is not part of the Department of Defense, therefore their spouses are not eligible.
What MyCAA Pays For: MyCAA Financial Assistance (FA) pays for expenses such as education and training programs, tuition, licensing and credentialing fees. This includes degree programs (e.g. associates, bachelors, masters, doctoral and post doctoral), continuing education classes (including those offered through professional associations), Bar, CPA and other similar exams, state certifications for teachers, medical professionals and other licensed professionals. MyCAA does not pay for computers, school application fees, graduation or membership fees, student activity cards, child care, parking, transportation, or medical services. NOTE: If the cost of a course includes books, supplies or other necessary equipment, MyCAA will cover that cost. Payments are made directly to schools using the MyCAA’s electronic payment system. Referrals are made to federally funded English As A Second Language (ESL) Classes and GED Classes and Testing Programs.
How MyCAA Financial Assistance(FA) Works: A military spouse can apply for MyCAA Financial Assistance (FA) after completing a MyCAA Career and Training Plan.
* A Career and Training Plan includes the spouse’s chosen career field, name of school and course information (course titles, codes, costs and start/end dates). If incorrect information is provided, the MyCAA Financial Assistance (FA) Request will be rejected during the school invoicing process. The spouse will then be responsible for paying course costs.
* FA Requests are initiated each time the spouse adds specific course start/end dates when it is time to enroll in one or more courses included in the spouse’s Career and Training Plan.
o It is critical that spouses select the correct school name/campus location and input correct course information into their Career and Training Plan to prevent billing problems. This information should be validated by school officials prior to the spouse applying for MyCAA Financial Assistance (FA).
o Career and Training Plans may be edited (e.g. courses may be changed or dropped) up to ten days prior to the start date of a course. At that point, the Plan will be approved and locked for billing purposes to guarantee the spouse a seat in the class. Courses may be added up until 7 days past course start dates.
o Data in the Career and Training Plan is used to validate school bills for payment purposes. Approved courses may be billed by the school at or below stated costs. Schools may charge penalty fees, partial or full course costs for dropped courses according to their published Drop/Add policies. Spouses need to be familiar with these school policies.
How to Get Started: Eligible spouses can establish a MyCAA Account by visiting the MyCAA website ~ https://aiportal.acc.af.mil/mycaa. Setting up an account is an easy, self-help process. Once spouse profile information is provided, MyCAA will verify spouse eligibility. Spouses should check their eligibility and account status regularly as well as their MyCAA account message board for alerts from their account managers and guidance on next steps.
Who Can Help Spouses:
Military spouses can help themselves:
* Visit the MyCAA website https://aiportal.acc.af.mil/mycaa and establish an account.
* Developing a Career and Training Plan and validating information with school officials prior to submitting a Financial Assistance (FA) Request to prevent billing problems.
* Email MyCAA@InvernessTechnologies.com for MyCAA website technical support.
School Academic Advisors can help spouses:
* Select a school, program of study, licensing and certification exams.
* Select classes for their MyCAA Career and Training Plan. School officials need to validate that the spouse has entered correct school name/location, course titles, codes, costs and start/end dates to avoid billing problems.
Military OneSource Career/Education Consultants (1-800-342-9647) can help spouses:
* Explore career interests, evaluate school options and compare programs of study.
* Develop and implement their Career and Training Plans successfully.
Who Can Help Schools Register for MyCAA: Schools that need MyCAA program information or want to register for the MyCAA electronic billing process may request information and assistance from MyCAASchools@MOSCenter.us.Registration tutorials are online at https://aiportal.acc.af.mil/aiportal/.
*Can I add, it sure pays to be a volunteer. I wouldn't have found out about this had I not been involved with my husband's unit. It was only through networking that this nugget of information was passed onto me.
Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA)
Program Sponsor: Office of the Deputy Under Secretary of Defense for Military Community & Family Policy (DUSD/MC&FP)
Program Description: The Department of Defense’s expanded Military Spouse Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) program will provide up to $6,000 of Financial Assistance for military spouses who are pursuing degree programs, licenses or credentials leading to employment in portable career fields.
Who Is Eligible: Spouses of Active Duty members of the Department of Defense and activated members of the National Guard and Reserve Components are eligible. The period of eligibility for spouses of Guard and Reserve members is from the date of the Alert or Warning Order for Military Recall or Mobilization, through activation and deployment until 180 days following De-Mobilization. Spouses of the severely injured, ill, wounded or killed in action are also eligible.
Military spouses who are legally separated by state law or court order are ineligible. Spouses who are active duty members or activated Guard or Reserve members themselves are ineligible. Coast Guard is not part of the Department of Defense, therefore their spouses are not eligible.
What MyCAA Pays For: MyCAA Financial Assistance (FA) pays for expenses such as education and training programs, tuition, licensing and credentialing fees. This includes degree programs (e.g. associates, bachelors, masters, doctoral and post doctoral), continuing education classes (including those offered through professional associations), Bar, CPA and other similar exams, state certifications for teachers, medical professionals and other licensed professionals. MyCAA does not pay for computers, school application fees, graduation or membership fees, student activity cards, child care, parking, transportation, or medical services. NOTE: If the cost of a course includes books, supplies or other necessary equipment, MyCAA will cover that cost. Payments are made directly to schools using the MyCAA’s electronic payment system. Referrals are made to federally funded English As A Second Language (ESL) Classes and GED Classes and Testing Programs.
How MyCAA Financial Assistance(FA) Works: A military spouse can apply for MyCAA Financial Assistance (FA) after completing a MyCAA Career and Training Plan.
* A Career and Training Plan includes the spouse’s chosen career field, name of school and course information (course titles, codes, costs and start/end dates). If incorrect information is provided, the MyCAA Financial Assistance (FA) Request will be rejected during the school invoicing process. The spouse will then be responsible for paying course costs.
* FA Requests are initiated each time the spouse adds specific course start/end dates when it is time to enroll in one or more courses included in the spouse’s Career and Training Plan.
o It is critical that spouses select the correct school name/campus location and input correct course information into their Career and Training Plan to prevent billing problems. This information should be validated by school officials prior to the spouse applying for MyCAA Financial Assistance (FA).
o Career and Training Plans may be edited (e.g. courses may be changed or dropped) up to ten days prior to the start date of a course. At that point, the Plan will be approved and locked for billing purposes to guarantee the spouse a seat in the class. Courses may be added up until 7 days past course start dates.
o Data in the Career and Training Plan is used to validate school bills for payment purposes. Approved courses may be billed by the school at or below stated costs. Schools may charge penalty fees, partial or full course costs for dropped courses according to their published Drop/Add policies. Spouses need to be familiar with these school policies.
How to Get Started: Eligible spouses can establish a MyCAA Account by visiting the MyCAA website ~ https://aiportal.acc.af.mil/mycaa. Setting up an account is an easy, self-help process. Once spouse profile information is provided, MyCAA will verify spouse eligibility. Spouses should check their eligibility and account status regularly as well as their MyCAA account message board for alerts from their account managers and guidance on next steps.
Who Can Help Spouses:
Military spouses can help themselves:
* Visit the MyCAA website https://aiportal.acc.af.mil/mycaa and establish an account.
* Developing a Career and Training Plan and validating information with school officials prior to submitting a Financial Assistance (FA) Request to prevent billing problems.
* Email MyCAA@InvernessTechnologies.com for MyCAA website technical support.
School Academic Advisors can help spouses:
* Select a school, program of study, licensing and certification exams.
* Select classes for their MyCAA Career and Training Plan. School officials need to validate that the spouse has entered correct school name/location, course titles, codes, costs and start/end dates to avoid billing problems.
Military OneSource Career/Education Consultants (1-800-342-9647) can help spouses:
* Explore career interests, evaluate school options and compare programs of study.
* Develop and implement their Career and Training Plans successfully.
Who Can Help Schools Register for MyCAA: Schools that need MyCAA program information or want to register for the MyCAA electronic billing process may request information and assistance from MyCAASchools@MOSCenter.us.Registration tutorials are online at https://aiportal.acc.af.mil/aiportal/.
Friday, August 14, 2009
I can't wait!
I have my cousin posting pictures of her trip to Europe. I've seen beautiful cathedrals, intricately detailed architecture, the Eiffel Tower during the day and lit up beautifully at night and landscapes from all over France just to name a few.
Then I have another friend posting pictures with Hillary Clinton in Kenya. Aside from that photo op are all the safari pics of game on a reserve, the baptism of a local Kenyan boy and the rituals that go with. The cultural experience she is having... Amazing!
Oh & I almost forgot Derrick's cousin who just returned from the Netherlands. Her pictures were just amazing too.
I know that being in Okinawa has been an opportunity of a lifetime but at the same time it now seems so meager compared to the rest of the world. I can't wait to find out where this journey will take us next.
I heard a rumor that they've pulled some guys into the MSG course early for one reason or another. I mentioned it to Derrick, he is content with reporting to school in January but I think it would be kind of awesome if he got pulled into the October class. Yeah I'd miss him like crazy, but we'd be months closer to finding out where our next home will be.
I love (99% of the time) the journey his career has taken us on and can't wait to see where the future holds. We've got a big world out there!
Then I have another friend posting pictures with Hillary Clinton in Kenya. Aside from that photo op are all the safari pics of game on a reserve, the baptism of a local Kenyan boy and the rituals that go with. The cultural experience she is having... Amazing!
Oh & I almost forgot Derrick's cousin who just returned from the Netherlands. Her pictures were just amazing too.
I know that being in Okinawa has been an opportunity of a lifetime but at the same time it now seems so meager compared to the rest of the world. I can't wait to find out where this journey will take us next.
I heard a rumor that they've pulled some guys into the MSG course early for one reason or another. I mentioned it to Derrick, he is content with reporting to school in January but I think it would be kind of awesome if he got pulled into the October class. Yeah I'd miss him like crazy, but we'd be months closer to finding out where our next home will be.
I love (99% of the time) the journey his career has taken us on and can't wait to see where the future holds. We've got a big world out there!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
a bunch of psychobabble
Before I get into this, 1) blogging is my therapy, you can disregard half of what I write, & 2) I'm really doing well. You're going to read this and think "she is full of crap" but honestly, today is a good day.
I have a weird way of coping I guess. I have so many things going on right now in my life. Tons of stuff that could keep me emotional for eternity so it seems. But the only way I seem to deal with it is through quietly reassuring people, dealing with things internally and consuming myself with other people's mental health/emotional concerns.
I know- trust me I know the errors of that. I'm currently taking a counseling class for Pete's sake. Every week I learn the definition of another defense mechanism I've become proficient at hiding behind.
I know that a good cry would do me tons of good right now but when I sit down and think about it, all the things going on, the tears just don't come. I can give you a hundred reasons why I don't (all logical in my head) but it's all psychobabble.
I do shed tears, but never for the fears that seem to consume my mind; rather over silly wedding videos, obvious movie endings, TV shows and songs, all of which seldom have an emotional undertone. There is a youtube video I've seen at least 4 times, "the best wedding entrance dance ever" done to a Chris Brown song. It's a funny video (and so is the divorce version) and I've never cried at a wedding before, but each time I see that video I'm in tears by songs end. I have become emotional at the most odd times. I suppose I'm projecting my repressed emotions onto random insignificant events and as I type I realize I'm doing it because for me breaking down is weakness. For me personally. It's completely acceptable, permissible and beneficial for others. (how double standard does this make me?)
This is enough of my rambling. I just thought it was kind of funny. It clicked tonight, what I was doing (after bawling over a TV show where a death row inmate took his life to avoid being put to death).
I'm officially a looney toon! ;)
I have a weird way of coping I guess. I have so many things going on right now in my life. Tons of stuff that could keep me emotional for eternity so it seems. But the only way I seem to deal with it is through quietly reassuring people, dealing with things internally and consuming myself with other people's mental health/emotional concerns.
I know- trust me I know the errors of that. I'm currently taking a counseling class for Pete's sake. Every week I learn the definition of another defense mechanism I've become proficient at hiding behind.
I know that a good cry would do me tons of good right now but when I sit down and think about it, all the things going on, the tears just don't come. I can give you a hundred reasons why I don't (all logical in my head) but it's all psychobabble.
I do shed tears, but never for the fears that seem to consume my mind; rather over silly wedding videos, obvious movie endings, TV shows and songs, all of which seldom have an emotional undertone. There is a youtube video I've seen at least 4 times, "the best wedding entrance dance ever" done to a Chris Brown song. It's a funny video (and so is the divorce version) and I've never cried at a wedding before, but each time I see that video I'm in tears by songs end. I have become emotional at the most odd times. I suppose I'm projecting my repressed emotions onto random insignificant events and as I type I realize I'm doing it because for me breaking down is weakness. For me personally. It's completely acceptable, permissible and beneficial for others. (how double standard does this make me?)
This is enough of my rambling. I just thought it was kind of funny. It clicked tonight, what I was doing (after bawling over a TV show where a death row inmate took his life to avoid being put to death).
I'm officially a looney toon! ;)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I have pretty awesome boys!
Hi Daddy,
Mom says when you get back we are going to Okuma to go para sailing:D! i want to go really bad it would be so fun! she says we might stay for a full weekend! do you think we can keep the cats i will pay for as much as i can. i will pay for medicine to help them sleep and everything. i love and miss you!
That's Brandon's most recent e mail to dad and his concern is about our cats when we move, Derrick has suggested finding a new home for them before we leave Okinawa since we're uncertain about when we'll actually move or even where in the world, which embassy we'll be stationed next. I think daddy is going to meet some serious opposition if still feels the same when he gets back home.
Mom says when you get back we are going to Okuma to go para sailing:D! i want to go really bad it would be so fun! she says we might stay for a full weekend! do you think we can keep the cats i will pay for as much as i can. i will pay for medicine to help them sleep and everything. i love and miss you!
That's Brandon's most recent e mail to dad and his concern is about our cats when we move, Derrick has suggested finding a new home for them before we leave Okinawa since we're uncertain about when we'll actually move or even where in the world, which embassy we'll be stationed next. I think daddy is going to meet some serious opposition if still feels the same when he gets back home.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
We're getting closer
Today was crazy, but ended on a very positive note. I don't even want to get into all the things that had me stressing and emotional. Well emotional in a negative sense. Tonight I went to the airport to see Derrick's Marine in, this was his right hand man. He's finally back on Okinawa and out of that hell that's labeled Afghanistan on most maps.
It was great seeing him, and surprising him (an added bonus). I walked up to him with our new commanding officer who was holding the cookies that I had made for Derrick's sergeant. He greeting the CO and turned to me, smiled politely and I think for a split second assumed I must be the COs wife. He did an immediate double take, his eyes lit up and he gave me a bubbly 'Hey!' and a warm hug. I don't know how I wasn't crying at this point. If you read my last blog you understand what I'm saying. He told me he wasn't expecting any of this, nobody from his parent command and especially not to see me, or receive gifts and baked goodies. I'm so glad he didn't come home to just a bus, that would have been so unfortunate.
I gave him the cookies, a goody bag that our Family Readiness Officer had made for him and a thank you card which ultimately included my previous blog (as a good friend had suggested I share it with him). We talked for a while about being home on Oki, going back home and of course Derrick and how he is doing, then it was time for his bus to bring him home. I gave him one more hug for the road and he was off. Hopefully to another warm welcome from all the friends he'd left behind in those barracks ten months ago.
I can't explain how awesome it felt to know that he is safe again, he feels like family in an odd combat camaraderie sort of way. Tonight I was able to let out a sigh of relief, one of the boys made it home safely and in the not so distant future Derrick will be home safe as well, and I'll breath easy once again.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all the families who have just begun this deployment journey. It is never easy to let a loved on go, to send them to war is even harder. I pray for strength when you feel you have no more, patience when things just don't go as planned, compassion and understanding with your children as they're going through changes too and love, tons and tons of love.
It was great seeing him, and surprising him (an added bonus). I walked up to him with our new commanding officer who was holding the cookies that I had made for Derrick's sergeant. He greeting the CO and turned to me, smiled politely and I think for a split second assumed I must be the COs wife. He did an immediate double take, his eyes lit up and he gave me a bubbly 'Hey!' and a warm hug. I don't know how I wasn't crying at this point. If you read my last blog you understand what I'm saying. He told me he wasn't expecting any of this, nobody from his parent command and especially not to see me, or receive gifts and baked goodies. I'm so glad he didn't come home to just a bus, that would have been so unfortunate.
I gave him the cookies, a goody bag that our Family Readiness Officer had made for him and a thank you card which ultimately included my previous blog (as a good friend had suggested I share it with him). We talked for a while about being home on Oki, going back home and of course Derrick and how he is doing, then it was time for his bus to bring him home. I gave him one more hug for the road and he was off. Hopefully to another warm welcome from all the friends he'd left behind in those barracks ten months ago.
I can't explain how awesome it felt to know that he is safe again, he feels like family in an odd combat camaraderie sort of way. Tonight I was able to let out a sigh of relief, one of the boys made it home safely and in the not so distant future Derrick will be home safe as well, and I'll breath easy once again.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all the families who have just begun this deployment journey. It is never easy to let a loved on go, to send them to war is even harder. I pray for strength when you feel you have no more, patience when things just don't go as planned, compassion and understanding with your children as they're going through changes too and love, tons and tons of love.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Thank you doesn't seem enough
Tonight was great, the boys and I went to Eisa and drummed until our hearts were content. We polished up the two routines we've been working on and started learning a third. Taiko drumming is so much fun, a good little work out and an amazing stress reliever.
Usually on the drive home we talk about the practice or other everyday happenings. Today was a little different. Both boys sat in back so my A driver wasn't there to keep me entertained. The boys played quietly in the backseat and left me to my thoughts.
I started thinking about Derrick's ever dwindling team, more specifically his sergeant that left yesterday to make his trek back to Okinawa. He'll be here just long enough to turn in his gear, check out of one unit, report back to his parent command then check out of the Marine Corps. His tour of duty is about to end.
I have so many feelings about this for many reasons, some more personal than others. I feel like I have a bond with him. This sergeant is the one who had Derrick's back the past ten months. He has kept him safe when I wasn't there to and because of him, I know it's because of him, Derrick is alive, and he is because of Derrick. They formed a bond, something bigger than anything I could equate and I'm sad that he's left Derrick's side. I'm sad that he's leaving the Corps, but I'm so excited for him and the prospects of the future.
I am worried for him too. He's leaving a brotherhood that isn't always perfect, but it's become his family. When he leaves is he going to get the support he needs? He's going from combat to the civilian world with little-to-no transition. I worry for him because he's one of Derrick's men. Even though I've only met him a handful of times, he's become family to me.
Derrick has said when he leaves this unit he won't look back. This deployment has been different then every other and not so much because the situations but because the unit, not that the situations aren't different this time also. The only person he'll walk forward with is this guy. That says so much about him. Derrick and his Marine.
So now that he'll be back on Okinawa in a matter of days I'm trying to find the words to thank him. Nothing seems enough. When Derrick comes home it's easy. I'm his wife and his best friend. For this man that I hardly know, I owe him so much. He was/is Derrick's friend, he kept him sane when things were absolutely chaotic and they've endured so much together. Bottom line is, he had his back more than anyone else. In this situation, under these circumstances this means the world. To me at least.
I hate that he has no family here on Okinawa. I don't know that his deployed command will do anything for his return, but the kids and I are in contact, or will be tomorrow, with his parent command (Derrick's parent command) to make sure that he doesn't come home to an empty barracks room. We are making him a welcome home banner and some cookies, but again, that just doesn't seem enough. How do you thank someone you hardly know, but who protected your heart from thousands of miles away?
Thank you Sergeant Borja. Thank you for being everything you are, and everything you were for Derrick, and for me. You were there for Derrick when I couldn't and you supported him in ways I could not. Forever I'll be grateful. I hope that life blesses you with only the best love, the best friendship and the best future. Semper Fidelis!
Usually on the drive home we talk about the practice or other everyday happenings. Today was a little different. Both boys sat in back so my A driver wasn't there to keep me entertained. The boys played quietly in the backseat and left me to my thoughts.
I started thinking about Derrick's ever dwindling team, more specifically his sergeant that left yesterday to make his trek back to Okinawa. He'll be here just long enough to turn in his gear, check out of one unit, report back to his parent command then check out of the Marine Corps. His tour of duty is about to end.
I have so many feelings about this for many reasons, some more personal than others. I feel like I have a bond with him. This sergeant is the one who had Derrick's back the past ten months. He has kept him safe when I wasn't there to and because of him, I know it's because of him, Derrick is alive, and he is because of Derrick. They formed a bond, something bigger than anything I could equate and I'm sad that he's left Derrick's side. I'm sad that he's leaving the Corps, but I'm so excited for him and the prospects of the future.
I am worried for him too. He's leaving a brotherhood that isn't always perfect, but it's become his family. When he leaves is he going to get the support he needs? He's going from combat to the civilian world with little-to-no transition. I worry for him because he's one of Derrick's men. Even though I've only met him a handful of times, he's become family to me.
Derrick has said when he leaves this unit he won't look back. This deployment has been different then every other and not so much because the situations but because the unit, not that the situations aren't different this time also. The only person he'll walk forward with is this guy. That says so much about him. Derrick and his Marine.
So now that he'll be back on Okinawa in a matter of days I'm trying to find the words to thank him. Nothing seems enough. When Derrick comes home it's easy. I'm his wife and his best friend. For this man that I hardly know, I owe him so much. He was/is Derrick's friend, he kept him sane when things were absolutely chaotic and they've endured so much together. Bottom line is, he had his back more than anyone else. In this situation, under these circumstances this means the world. To me at least.
I hate that he has no family here on Okinawa. I don't know that his deployed command will do anything for his return, but the kids and I are in contact, or will be tomorrow, with his parent command (Derrick's parent command) to make sure that he doesn't come home to an empty barracks room. We are making him a welcome home banner and some cookies, but again, that just doesn't seem enough. How do you thank someone you hardly know, but who protected your heart from thousands of miles away?
Thank you Sergeant Borja. Thank you for being everything you are, and everything you were for Derrick, and for me. You were there for Derrick when I couldn't and you supported him in ways I could not. Forever I'll be grateful. I hope that life blesses you with only the best love, the best friendship and the best future. Semper Fidelis!
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