After updating my status on facebook I started looking through old blogs I had written. I was looking for a specific one but found this one and thought, 'since our anniversary is one week away, what the heck.' This is what I was thinking three years ago:
5.3.97 (Monday, April 28, 2008)
As this weekend draws near so does my anniversary. Eleven years married to the man of my dreams as well as surviving 11 years of him being married to the Corps too. It's definitely not been roses and perfect all the time and we've made our share of mistakes along the way but that doesn't change the fact that everyday our love becomes more defined and perfect and yet simple and amazing.
We started off young and impatient, getting married at least 7 months before we planned, or should I say talked about. There was no planning when it came to us getting married. Working on borrowed time we squeezed some time from nowhere we made it to Lake Tahoe just days before his rescheduled flight to deployment number 1.
How simple that first one was, the days before e mail and before I even really knew what a Marine was. Those six months dragged like nothing I'd known before, the phone bills consumed us and the letters couldn't come soon enough. I knew when he was on ship and when he was in the field by how many letters came in or how many days or weeks passed between them. That deployment was tough, I had my share of tears and unanswered questions, especially since I was nowhere near his base or anyone who could help me but it wasn't more than I couldn't handle. The tough times were definitely ahead of us, our road had just begun.
Shortly after Brandon was born and our second anniversary he was gone again, deployment number 2 and again, a UDP with the "Dirty-worst." This time I had an idea of what to expect and the mail system was a little friendlier. They kept him longer this time, to protect the world from the hell of "Y2K". I missed the turn of the millennium with my husband for something that seems would have only affected computer systems. Something we'd yet to have in our home.
Somehow we dodged the deployment bullet for a few years after that and we enjoyed the amazing weather and everything else that sunny Southern California had to offer. Things were amazing and we had our perfect family, the five of us. September 11th changed that for us. September 11th changed that for most everyone we knew, it's still changing people and sadly I see those changes continuing to occur in Derrick.
Orders came down, with next to no notice for some random base in North Carolina. Who's ever heard of Cherry Point? Nobody we'd known. Derrick was a comm guy with the grunts, what could the wing need with him? We'd soon find out. Another two deployments, this time in different sand boxes, and many bumps in the road gave us the character and drive to fight for what we had and what we wanted to keep. As much as I hated the idea and the actual move from coast to coast I can now look back and say that I found home there and so much more. I found my best friend all over again, the man I have loved all along and was reminded how amazing life is. Our time ended there with the decision to manipulate fate and jump for the opportunity that is Okinawa, Japan.
Almost 2 years ago we arrived here and jumped right into everything that Okinawa has to offer, that was until deployment number 5 snuck up on us. I've always been a pretty independent person so, though deployments are hard on everyone, I tend to shut down my emotions and truck through with tending to everyone else. This time it wasn't as easy as the four before. I can analyze all aspects of the situation to explain that, but bottom line is, this one- the shortest of them all was the hardest for me.
It's been great since he's been home. In looking back it was even great while he was deployed. I mean, we didn't not explore the island. We made the best of every moment and when he returned we had so much to share with him. He's been home about a year now and it seems that we're back on track in every aspect of life. We have the stresses that go with three children in school and our love hate relationship with the Marine Corps and even little struggles in our relationship with each other but we've gained a new perspective over the years.
I don't know if it's that our anniversary is less than week away, simple raging hormones or the idea of this next deployment that has me emotional and my nerves frayed, in any case I am and they are. I hate the idea that my best friend is leaving again and going to another new place with a whole new avenue of approach and for the longest time yet. I'm proud of him for everything he is, everything he does and everything he stands for, but I worry for him and know that I'll miss him more this time around- as everything that was said in our vows almost 11 years ago is so much more intense and amazing then I could have ever dreamed or imagined.
I am truly blessed to have married my high school sweetheart, my best friend and the most incredible man alive.
(& if you actually read this Derrick, You are my mowwat and I love you more every day we're together. You are my best friend and my soul mate. You complete me- in every cheesy Jerry McGuire way)
