I was told today that "no explanation is required because good friends understand" but I still feel like I need to apologize and explain the distance I've put between myself and the friends who are generally closest to me. Even if it's not a proximal distance it has been an emotional one.
I was explained as a hermit when Derrick is gone. It's quite a difference for me against when he is home, but it is a true statement. If I have a relationship/friendship with you, one with depth and personal emotions involved then I've probably avoided down time with you. For that I apologize. I haven't avoided our friendship to hurt you or to purposely jeopardize our relationship but rather to spare me from having to deal with the thoughts and worries that have occupied my mind for the past 9 or so months. It's hard to be fake, or to mask true emotions from someone so close, so avoidance is my defense mechanism.
I'm a bum for being such a butt head and for all of this, I'm sorry. Pwease forgive me. :)
& give me a few weeks and we're gonna have to have one heck of a reunion party!
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