Friday, January 28, 2011

Isn't it crazy how time just flies?

I was looking through old photos today and had to pause for a minute when I came across this picture. This is Melanie at just a few days old with my grandfather, her great grandpa Tom.
I sat and thought about how quickly our children grow. This seems like it was just yesterday but really this is her, just yesterday.
Melanie, Sgt Rowan and a small glimpse of dad back in the corner.
This was her second meeting with him and in the few hours with him, that black book, an additional big ole binder and some plastic cards she started to make up her mind.
Sgt Rowan gave her ten goal cards. All you Marines out there, you know the cards. Each card has a goal that one might wish to attain while in the Marine Corps. The game is for the potential recruit to prioritize them, then see if mom and dad can replicate their childs goals. In the few months since our last meeting Melanie has grown and matured so much it was a little easier to pick her top goals this go round.
This is what Melanie wants to get out of her service in the Marine Corps:
 Something tells me she'll get it all.

By the end of the night Melanie was dubbed an 'honorary poolee" in the United States Marine Corps. To Derrick and I that's just a title to give her a little more motivation. What ever it is 'honorary' will be short lived. Next week she'll sign the paperwork that will allow her to head up to MEPS in Raliegh and soon after that she'll be an official  no longer honorary "poolee". One step closer to Recruit!

I know so many of you have questions about why she's chosen to enlist and how we feel about her decision but I've decided to leave the meat and potatoes of that conversation out of this blog (there will be another coming). Just know that she's thought long and hard about this and we fully support her decision. She's a smart young lady and we're very proud.



Monday, January 24, 2011

Trading Recipes

We all love to share our favorite recipes for that amazingly yummy dish. Here's a recipe that is totally low cal, high stress but the prize more than makes up for it. Many of us already know the dish but I think at times we forget how great it is/we are.

Some of the following ingredients might need a little tweaking as duty and locations change.

Recipe for a Military Spouse

1 1/2 cup Patience
1 cup Courage
3/4 cup Tolerance
Dash of Adventure
1 lb of Ability

To the above ingredients: Add 2 tablespoons elbow grease, Let stand alone for one year, Marinante frequently with salty tears, Pour off excess fat, Sprinkle ever so lightly with money, Knead dough until payday, Season with international spices. Bake 20 years or until done. Makes unlimited servings.

SERVE WITH PRIDE
~Author unknown

PS. Thanks Gretchen for sharing. :)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Life is about compromise

So is love. Compromise, compassion and communication. That's what I've learned through the years. And the one constant certainty as we are preparing for our first retirement. What we'll do and where we end up...


More on this at a later date.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

MD in May or stay?

That is the question.
Looking back to my high school graduation I remember there being all this hype, but for what? A bunch of home schooled kids to walk the stage of the high school none of us attended among our "peers" though strangers to one and other. Then to top it, the cassette (really, I am not that old) that was supposed to play the graduation march was never rewound from the previous year so when they hit play it was at end which left us without music for any part of the ceremony. Aside from knowing that busting my butt working as my teacher and the student, pushing to graduate almost a year and a half early was over and physically receiving my diploma the ceremony was a bust.
So now,16 years later (wow,I just realized how long it's been) I am at nearly the same place. With my university based in Maryland, my professors scattered across the world and me for 90% of my schooling it was online in Japan. I don't know the campus, have never physically met an instructor, administrator or a huge majority of my fellow classmates for that matter, so do I make the 6-7 hour trek to a place I've never been to be among people I do not know for one little ceremony?
I would have to pull the kids out of school early on Friday so we could be there for the morning ceremony. We'd be lucky to have the rest of the afternoon and some of Sunday morning before hitting the road for our trek back home. Not to mention having to take time off work for this weekend (oh yeah, I got a job-start on Thursday).
So the question is, is it worth the craziness of a whirlwind, barely two day trip to MD just to throw on a cap and gown and pick up my degree? Thoughts and opinions please.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

I don't usually do this...

...and you don't have to read it but I'm kind of excited about this one. My first paper where I was able to use a real bookstore (thank you B&N) and a topic that is so close to me (and so many of you) personally. I guess that personal investment really paid off, I aced it!

I used several great books as references, some might seem like a bit of 'psycho babble' to the everyday reader but others are very reader friendly and focus on military families and/or their returning service member. If you'd like the titles let me know. I highly suggest them for anyone who has been stationed in/near combat zones.

**I can't imagine any of my friend/family readers would try to plagiarize my paper but for anyone who stumbles across this paper and tries, know it will be caught on any plagiarism site your professor runs it through**


Life After Deployment


Living through a combat deployment may be the most stressful situation that a service member can go through but learning to live again after returning home can be a daunting task as well. We see and hear on the news accounts of service members struggling through adjustment issues when returning home after serving an extended period in combat environments; and as recently as today a post deployment health story made headlines. Though, this particular account was of a military working dog who now suffers from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after serving as a bomb sniffing dog in Iraq (Elliot, 2010). While some debate the idea that animals can suffer combat stress reactions (CSRs), this story contributes to the level of incidence of combat stress injuries that occur as result of serving in hostile environments.

Most service members returning home from combat situations will have a period of readjustment that they and/or their families notice and consider disruptive to daily life. This period of readjusting can be short lived, a couple weeks or last up to a year. While many service members that serve in combat environments return home with only minimal adjustment issues as many as 30% of Vietnam veterans have had, or currently suffer with PTSD; veterans of Operation Desert Shield/Storm had an incidence rate of about 10.1%; veterans from the Somalia and Bosnia conflicts had an 8% incidence rate, and currently with the conflict in Iraq and Afghanistan have an incidence rate between 6.2% and 12.9% (Kennedy and Zillmer, 2006). With occurrences of combat stress reactions at these levels extensive research has been, and is currently being done to identify signs and symptoms of combat stress injuries during, and after returning from a deployment, as well as ways to alleviate symptoms allowing for affected service members to transition more smoothly into non-combat environments.

While serving in theater one might be shot at or be witness to the death of a friend, fellow service member, innocent civilian men, women and/or children, and even hostile combatants. Exposure to improvised explosive devices (IEDs), mine and bomb blasts, excessive weaponry, accidents, the constant state of alertness required while in combat environments and even the unfamiliar setting and culture in the combat location can initiate war zone stress reactions also known as combat or acute stress reactions (Sloan and Friedman, 2008).

Combat stress reactions can show up in the form of sleep disturbances, insomnia, restless sleep or nightmares, trembling or shaking, anger or aggression, shortness of breath, heavy chest, dizziness, pounding heart, elevated pulse or blood pressure, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, head or back aches, blurred vision, feelings that no one can relate or understand what you’ve been through or feeling like you’re either hyper vigilant (always alert) or have a delayed startle reaction. Further symptoms can include inattentiveness, memory loss, difficulty reasoning or faulty judgment, loss of hope, flashbacks, delusions or hallucinations (Kennedy and Zillmer, 2006; Slone and Friedman, 2008).

Due to the unnatural events that service members are faced with while forward deployed and the possible ramifications each could face, each branch of service has implemented a system for use during demobilization in hopes of informing service members of what to expect and/or to watch for in themselves and their comrades. During this demobilization process a post deployment heath assessment (PDHA) is conducted to determine post deployment health and to serve as a baseline for a future PDHA that will take place three to six months after returning home from deployment (Kennedy and Zillmer, 2006).

Colonel Carl Castro, PhD and colleagues created the ‘BATTLEMIND’ approach for the US Army at Walter Reed Army Institute of Research. It is utilized during their demobilization process and can be readdressed as needed through brochures, power point presentations and online. The word BATTLEMIND is an acronym that differentiates mental skills used for survival in combat situations but can be problematic if carried over in to day-to-day living. “B” stands for buddies (cohesion) vs. withdrawal; “A” is for accountability vs. controlling; the first “T” for targeted vs. inappropriate aggression; the second “T” represents tactical awareness vs. hyper vigilance; “L” is for lethally armed vs. locked and loaded; “E” stands for emotional control vs. detachment; “M” is for mission operational security vs. secretiveness; “I” represents individual responsibility vs. guilt; “N” stands for non-defensive driving (combat) vs. aggressive driving and the “D” stands for discipline and ordering vs. conflict (Sloan and Friedman, 2006).

In addition to the demobilization BATTLEMIND for service members, the Army has created a BATTLEMIND for loved ones that aims to increase resilience and smooth the integration process. For loved ones the acronym BATTLEMIND stand for Buddies (social support), Adding/subtracting from family roles, Taking control, Talking it out, Loyalty and commitment, Emotional balance, Mental health and readiness, Independence, Navigating the Army (military) system and Denial of the self (Self Sacrifice) (Sloan and Friedman, 2006). Understanding how and being able to mesh both BATTLEMINDs together can help the post deployment transition for the affected service member and his/her family alike.

Reactions to combat stress are normal and in many cases can be reduced through simple techniques and coping strategies, alone or with loved ones; though in some cases a greater intervention is required. Armstrong, Best and Domenici (2006) suggest using relaxation drills where you recall and focus on positive events that occurred while deployed. In addition to the positive thoughts, focused breathing techniques and forced flex and relaxation of muscle groups helps reverse the “fight-or-flight” response. One simple thing many service members forget is that it takes time to adjust to a post deployment mentality. In addition, service members should ease into pre-deployment routines like drinking, as it can intensify emotions or fears, or driving due to different driving styles in combat/civilian life. They are encouraged to reconnect with their social support and talk about their deployment experiences; if not with family or peers, then with a chaplain or counselor (Sloan and Friedman, 2008).

If CSRs continue for more than six to eight weeks, intensify with time, with specific circumstances or begin to interfere with personal or work life to the extent that basic functioning is hindered help from an outside source is recommended (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006; Sloan and Friedman, 2008). Persistent reactions if left untreated can turn into PTSD, depression or other mental health problems (Sloan and Friedman, 2008).

Once a service member realizes either on their own, as result of a PDHA, through the demobilization process or with administrative initiative that his/her transition from combat to normal life is not progressing or if there is an intensification of combat stress reactions an intervention needs to occur. He or she should meet with their primary care physician (PCP) to discuss any physical or mental concerns and combat stress reactions that they have noticed since returning from combat. While at this appointment the service member should inform the doctor of any medications they are taking, be honest about any alcohol or illicit drug use if any, and if comfortable, discuss their wartime experiences and how they feel they are affecting them (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006; Slone and Friedman, 2008). By making the initial step with a PCP, the physician can listen to the service members concerns and if he/she and/or the physician feel that symptoms suggest a diagnosis of PTSD then a Primary Care PTSD Screen (PC-PTSD) can be conducted. The PC-PTSD is a brief, problem focused survey that does not diagnose but rules out or supports that further assessments are necessary. From there, the PCP can either initiate a regular medical treatment plan or refer the service member to a psychologist, social worker or Veterans Center (Slone and Friedman, 2008).

At the initial meeting with a behavioral or mental health provider an assessment is conducted. Along with talking with the service member the counselor may give a written survey or verbally conduct an interview to assist in the diagnosis (Slone and Friedman, 2008). A diagnosis of PTSD comes with very rigid guidelines and is considered acute if the duration of symptoms is less than three months, chronic if the duration lasts three months or more or delayed onset if the symptoms begin to occur six or more months after the trauma has occurred (Grossman, 2008). In order to meet the criteria for PTSD one must have a history of exposure to one or more traumatic events that involve actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity to oneself or others and has a response of intense fear, helplessness, or horror. In addition they must suffer from at least two symptoms (three for avoidant/numbing) from the following criterion: intrusive recollection, avoidant/numbing and hyper-arousal.

“Intrusive recollection, the traumatic event is persistently re-experienced in: Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions; Recurrent distressing dreams of the event; Acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur upon awakening or when intoxicated); Intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event; and/or Physiologic reactivity upon exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.
Avoidant/numbing, persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma), as indicated by at least three of the following: Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversations associated with the trauma; Efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma; Inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma; Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities; Feeling of detachment or estrangement from others; Restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings); Sense of foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span).
Hyper-arousal, Persistent symptoms of increasing arousal (not present before the trauma): Difficulty falling or staying asleep; Irritability or outbursts of anger; Difficulty concentrating; Hyper-vigilance; Exaggerated startle response” (APA, 2000).

Once a clear diagnosis is made the road to recovery can truly begin. The mental health provider will discuss in depth what PTSD is and how it will affect the service member and his/her co workers and loved ones. From there, patient and provider work together to set short and long term goals while mapping out the intended treatment. Treatment can consists solely of talk therapies and medications but often require more in depth teamwork between the patient and provider (Slone and Friedman, 2008).

Treatment may consist of group or individual therapy. With group therapy participants create bonds with others who have experienced similar traumatic experiences and from an individual’s experiences others in the group learn techniques to apply in their lives. Individual therapy can be administered through Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) or Exposure Therapy. CBT is the most effective choice of treatment for PTSD as it works with an individual’s thoughts in order to change their emotions, thoughts and behaviors. CPT enables the patient to indentify and examine trauma related thought patterns through cognitive restructuring and encourages replacing those thoughts with balanced and accurate ones. Exposure therapy involves controlled exposure to detailed images that instigate the fear and distress caused by the initial trauma and the memories triggered by the trauma. This process can be effective in disconnecting the memory from the associated fear and/or distress (Slone and Friedman, 2008).

Many people believe a person should avoid events, locations or situations where triggers occur but avoidance like this only reinforces PTSD symptoms because the sufferer fails to learn that these situations are only triggers to uncomfortable memories but are not in any real physical danger (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006). Because of this theory, providers may offer coping techniques in situation avoidance. An example of such coping would be for the service member to write a list of all triggers – people, places and situations and rank them according to the level of stress they invoke. Create another list of ways to reward yourself after tackling a trigger. On a day where you have no other commitments plan to face the least stressful situation. While doing this you might need to resort to breathing and relaxation techniques but upon completion of the challenge, reward yourself with something from your rewards list (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006).

Providers might also offer coping mechanisms for combating panic or unwanted images or memories. They may suggest specific exercises to do when overwhelmed and to pay attention to your “red flag” moments. At those times, the exercises and techniques provided will help calm tense conditions (Armstrong, Best and Domenici, 2006).

Once the service members understands PTSD and the role it plays in his/her life and has the strategies and coping mechanisms in place to combat stressors the only thing left is to heal and reintegrate into their military unit. Kennedy and Zillmer (2006) stated, “Combat stress reactions are normal responses to extremely abnormal conditions.” Even though symptoms may still present themselves, the natural social support within a military unit helps alleviate the perceived threat and increases the service members perception of personal health and well being as well as normalizing reactions (Kennedy and Zillmer, 2006).

Whether the CSRs are minimal and short lived or progress into PTSD or other emotional or anxiety disorders, knowing the signs and symptoms, seeking help when needed and maintaining a sense of belonging and camaraderie between the affected service member and his/her unit can make a world of difference in the recovery process.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Who has got your back?

I am never one to wish ill will on anyone but in this case it's a little hard to not join in with the census. The past few months have been crazy- a trans global move, leaving the kids in Texas to finish the school year as we waited for our house to be completed, dealing with the delivery of our stuff & of course the missing couch... It's been a bit stressful. Then you add the BIG issue- another upcoming deployment!

I've blogged about it a little bit, but it's been shrouded with plenty of uncertainty. We have a monitor (person who does job placement for Marines) who has a god complex and feels he needs to stick it to everyone, then we have my husband who has done MORE than his share of deploying and combat action who is demanding that he get what is rightfully owed to him: time with his family.

If you go back through my blogs, I think I may have written about Derrick asking if we could expedite our order to NC because of the timing and all that went down with the embassy situation. When he talked to his monitor the guy acted like a jerk and told him to suck it up. (Apparently that is one of his key phrases) He then told us that we couldn't move any earlier because the unit Derrick was going to be going to was currently deployed.

Shortly before arriving in NC we found out that they weren't, but they were gearing up to. Derrick was arriving just in time to fall into their pre-deployment training schedule. The problem is that he still has over a year left on his dwell time from his last deployment so if they choose to deploy him he is entitled to certain benefits/incentives.

So the fight for getting what is rightfully owed to him began. His new command understood the position he was in, but didn't understand why his monitor would put him OR them in a situation like this. They tried everything they could to move him within the regiment to avoid him having to deploy- because oddly enough- the units (most of them) care about their Marines and families. The monitors, eh not so much.

When they were unable to find a replacement for Derrick within the regiment they had to contact the monitor. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate his Sergeant Major and how he went to bat for Derrick. He (SgtMaj) called Derrick's monitor and asked to give Derrick orders to another unit because Derrick was owed/entitled to his dwell time. The monitor told the Sgt Maj that Derrick needed to suck it up and deploy again. That is when he got pissed and told him no. He needed to look at the books again, see that Derrick has spent more than enough time deployed and he needs to look at all the people who have have never deployed but have been saying for the past 10 years that they've 'been trying but the chance has never come up' and give them their opportunity.

Like I said, I am elated, so thrilled that someone really, I mean really went to bar for Derrick and it paid off. Next week he'll check into his new unit!

(& will be able to enjoy his full dwell time.)


P.S. the 'ill will' sentiment... ;).
I've heard from a birdie that some might wish something horrid, like syphilis on one particular job placement personnel. Danny, if you're reading this, you can attest to the suggested desired locations of disease breakout.

Marines are so funny.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Carpe Diem

About once or twice a year, since we've graduated into the internet age, I receive this chain e mail about a woman who in essence hoards all her "good" things for a special occasion only to die never wearing that special silk blouse or using that expensive perfume. I don't know that I've ever actually forwarded that e mail onto anyone but I've carried the message with me through the years.

Over the past four years this story has come to mind often, in my life as well as others. I took it as a lesson and stepped out of my comfort zone a time or two in order to say "I did that" verses "I could have but.."

With the chaos that military life brings it's hard to not seize every day and cherish all the special moments and items but for civilians (& some military families too) I think they sometimes forget.

One person comes to mind right now, but I don't want to blast anyone in particular so I'll be vague. That way you, if this isn't about you, can still apply it to your life without feeling like you took a message intended for someone else. :)

When you want to do something or see someone do it. Do it when you say you will. Do it when it comes to mind, when it's on your heart. If you think you don't have time, make time. Things that are important to you are worth making the time for. You never know when you'll lose that opportunity. Life is short. Live life seizing those moments, not letting them slip through your fingers. The only thing that separates "I did" and "I wish I had" are actions.

We know to well how quickly things can change. Moves happen, deployments happen, life and even death happens and when it does all you have is what you made of those moments.
So make those moments count.
Wear that special silk blouse.
Spray a spritz of that expensive perfume.
and live life!