I posted this as a note on my facebook account but thought I should put something positive on my blogger, especially after the past few blogs and their less then positive nature. I've learned more with this deployment then any other that there are good days and there are definite bad. Yesterday was one of the more humorous ones.
I just had the best phone call with Derrick and so need to share. He was able to call at a time when the kids were awake so they even got to talk. YAY!! He sounds like he's doing much better then he has in recent weeks. A few of you know what's been going on, it seems like a weight was lifted when his Lt returned to camp, thank goodness.
We hardly even talked about the deployment itself, which is a huge plus, and were able to just chit chat and pal around like he was just up the street. This is one of the first conversations we've been able to have like this. There was no looming danger in the background or a rush to get back to the business of his day, it was just awesome, & funny.
I have to head to the PX tomorrow to pick something up for one of the ANA commanders. Derrick was trying to explain it to me but I wasn't understanding (because Derrick was making it harder then he needed to). He wanted something that a Canadian ETT had once got for him. Well, one of the spouses sent it out for him & he fell in love with this miracle cream. :) So the guy asked Derrick if his wife (me) could find some special cream to make the wrinkles around his eyes go away. I asked if there was a specific eye cream he wanted. Derrick got excited and told me that's exactly what it was, he didn't know it had a real name, or rather one so simple.
He finds it amusing for many reasons, but the biggest is that in a location as primitive as this (they cook over open flame) there are nationals who worry about bags and wrinkles around their eyes. I don't even think they market eye creams in Afghanistan. Kudos to the Western world for this influence, right?
For me, what is going to be the most amusing is Derrick having possession of said eye cream. If you know Derrick you can probably already hear him complaining about how gay this must look, and now he's going to supply "gayness" to another man. I could not hold back laughter then and even now I am still giggling.
The things we do for national security... :)
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Behind The Strenght
I've had many people tell me they don't know how I do it, hold up the fort so often when Derrick deploys. It's so easy for me to say before the deployment begins or in hindsight how "it just comes naturally" or "you do what you've gotta do." It's during the deployments when it's hard to choke out an easy answer and because of that I decided to blog through this deployment. I guess to show that it's not all rainbows and sunshine and even though I appear to be "strong" there are plenty of sad moments, heart ache and times of grief that come with the territory too.
This blog to follow my thoughts usually comes pretty easy, if you are on my Myspace friends list you know I blog often there also. (99% of those blogs are of a different nature) I've learned this past week that even I can get writers block, or maybe it's not that at all. Sometimes emotions can run a little too high, and life can become a little too scary and serious for the words to come out.
Last week was terrifying for me, it was nerve wracking for Derrick's mom and I can't even begin to put myself in Derrick's shoes.
Before this blog goes further, I want it said that Derrick is doing well. He wasn't hurt but has recently gone through some emotionally traumatic events. Being witness to only his anger and frustrations and not the moments, hours and days that followed those events is what made life so emotionally challenging for me. For the first time in the 17 years I've known him, and the 31 that his mom has, neither of us had ever heard him sound the way he did, we'd never heard him speak the way he did, it really shook us, and now he's in a place where we can't e mail, call or text to see that he's alright. Fortunately things seem to be going a little better for Derrick, and in turn for Denise (his mom) and I.
I am not one to typically ask for prayers, it's just not my character, but this past week I've heard things I'd never heard, I've felt things I thought I'd never feel, and I've worried about random people, Americans and Afghani's alike, more then I could have ever imagined. This conflict is taking a great toll on Derrick, greater I feel then any other location he's deployed to has. For that I'm asking for all the thoughts, love and prayers for him, so that he is able to remain strong in the face of barbarism, adversity and hostility; that he has a clear mind and level head through all obstacles he faces.
As out of character it is for me to ask for prayers for someone else, it's even more outlandish for me to ask for them for myself. In this case, I'm humbling myself, I know I have to. I know that I can't do this, not on my own.
I used to think that deployments got easier with numbers. Derrick's first one was tough, the second a little easier. By number three and four I had found my routine and things were smooth. Deployment number five took it's toll and my emotions were frazzled often and now that we're struggling through out sixth I don't know how I've survived this long.
I guess what doesn't kill you truly makes you grow stronger, right?
This blog to follow my thoughts usually comes pretty easy, if you are on my Myspace friends list you know I blog often there also. (99% of those blogs are of a different nature) I've learned this past week that even I can get writers block, or maybe it's not that at all. Sometimes emotions can run a little too high, and life can become a little too scary and serious for the words to come out.
Last week was terrifying for me, it was nerve wracking for Derrick's mom and I can't even begin to put myself in Derrick's shoes.
Before this blog goes further, I want it said that Derrick is doing well. He wasn't hurt but has recently gone through some emotionally traumatic events. Being witness to only his anger and frustrations and not the moments, hours and days that followed those events is what made life so emotionally challenging for me. For the first time in the 17 years I've known him, and the 31 that his mom has, neither of us had ever heard him sound the way he did, we'd never heard him speak the way he did, it really shook us, and now he's in a place where we can't e mail, call or text to see that he's alright. Fortunately things seem to be going a little better for Derrick, and in turn for Denise (his mom) and I.
I am not one to typically ask for prayers, it's just not my character, but this past week I've heard things I'd never heard, I've felt things I thought I'd never feel, and I've worried about random people, Americans and Afghani's alike, more then I could have ever imagined. This conflict is taking a great toll on Derrick, greater I feel then any other location he's deployed to has. For that I'm asking for all the thoughts, love and prayers for him, so that he is able to remain strong in the face of barbarism, adversity and hostility; that he has a clear mind and level head through all obstacles he faces.
As out of character it is for me to ask for prayers for someone else, it's even more outlandish for me to ask for them for myself. In this case, I'm humbling myself, I know I have to. I know that I can't do this, not on my own.
I used to think that deployments got easier with numbers. Derrick's first one was tough, the second a little easier. By number three and four I had found my routine and things were smooth. Deployment number five took it's toll and my emotions were frazzled often and now that we're struggling through out sixth I don't know how I've survived this long.
I guess what doesn't kill you truly makes you grow stronger, right?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
You change your mind like a girl changes clothes
If you know the song you understand where I'm going with this blog.
For 3 months now the idea of R&R has been dangled before us like a piece of cheese just outside the hamster wheel. About a month after Derrick deployed he called home and gave me the dates he requested and it looked promising. Then it was confirmed. He called and asked me to plan a party and let all our friends know he'd be home soon. Of course there's going to be tons of family time but he wanted to have a day or two with friends too.
I started to plan and even sent out invites, as soon as the RSVPs started rolling in, he called to let me know things had changed. The new dates were pushed to a later day, weeks later. Those new days, should they actually stick would be during the time that Brandon will be on another island for an international adventure camp with Japanese, Indonesian and American students. Clearly a once in a lifetime experience and Derrick told me there was no way I was allowed to pull Brandon from his trip.
I could feel the anxiety setting in. I send out retractions for the party and the explaining began. I've decided not to even try to reschedule around any schedule and good thing, because low and behold, 2 days after his date is pushed back it changes once again. This time in our favor by a few days. If all goes as planned (I am not even counting on it though) he could be home within the next 3 weeks.
This roller coaster ride is so topsy turvy. It's really hot then it's cold, I'm up then I'm down, just like the song. I'll keep everyone posted...
For 3 months now the idea of R&R has been dangled before us like a piece of cheese just outside the hamster wheel. About a month after Derrick deployed he called home and gave me the dates he requested and it looked promising. Then it was confirmed. He called and asked me to plan a party and let all our friends know he'd be home soon. Of course there's going to be tons of family time but he wanted to have a day or two with friends too.
I started to plan and even sent out invites, as soon as the RSVPs started rolling in, he called to let me know things had changed. The new dates were pushed to a later day, weeks later. Those new days, should they actually stick would be during the time that Brandon will be on another island for an international adventure camp with Japanese, Indonesian and American students. Clearly a once in a lifetime experience and Derrick told me there was no way I was allowed to pull Brandon from his trip.
I could feel the anxiety setting in. I send out retractions for the party and the explaining began. I've decided not to even try to reschedule around any schedule and good thing, because low and behold, 2 days after his date is pushed back it changes once again. This time in our favor by a few days. If all goes as planned (I am not even counting on it though) he could be home within the next 3 weeks.
This roller coaster ride is so topsy turvy. It's really hot then it's cold, I'm up then I'm down, just like the song. I'll keep everyone posted...
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday the 13th aint half bad, sure beat Saturday the 14th
Ya know, just a few hours ago I was commenting another friends blog about how her family enjoys celebrating Friday the 13th in silly ways, they embrace what others fear. Also for them, Valentine's day is just a commercial holiday. They love and show each other that love everyday. (I think I said that right, correct me if I'm wrong Jen). I commented to her how I was on board with her families plan, this year at least.
Friday the 13th for us was a good day, nothing out of the ordinary, cooky or wacky to report but my 14th, it wasn't as good. Don't get me wrong, the boys and I had a good morning but as you'll read, things shifted as the day progressed. Here is my confirmation, Valentine's Day sucked for the Cordova bunch. It could have been a lot worse with differing outcomes, Thank you GOD for watching over us all. Clearly yesterday we needed it.
Yesterday was weird to say the least. I wasn't sure I'd hear from Derrick since I'd only heard from him once in 9 days time. I kept my cell phone on me just in case he'd call. He didn't. I didn't get upset or even worry, I know he is busy. Let me clarify - I worry. I do that every day, but I didn't worry because he didn't call, that's what I meant.
We spent the morning and early afternoon with our neighbors, all-in-all it was a fun day. It was later that was weird. After coming home we decided to run to the BX for a few things. On the way home we had a little (HUGE) encounter where I thought they were going to have to notify next of kin for the three of us. A huge truck lost control on a narrow road and fishtailed all over the place and just before hitting us head on the driver regained control and ended up steering his truck through the crops that lined the road. Two seconds later and I wouldn't be typing now. It took a while for my heart to stop racing, and even longer for my nerves to calm. I had the worst thoughts running through my head as I saw this all happen. Thank God we're all fine, the truck driver too.
So last night Derrick's aunt called to wish us a Happy Valentine's Day and to see how we were doing, Derrick included. She asked me specifically if I'd heard from him and I hadn't, not in at least 4 days but I wasn't worried, I mean I didn't feel worried. When I said that she made a noise. I knew when she did that that she was calling me because of a gut feeling she had. See, she has a sixth sense about family and accidents/injuries and such. I asked her if she felt something and sure enough she did. I attempted to pacify her and told her that we were all fine, that it was the boys and I she had that feeling about and not Derrick. I don't know if that was enough for her, she didn't talk about it beyond that, so I assumed. I still do, I'm going to call her to verify once I'm done with this blog though.
I just got off the phone with Derrick. Through 4 broken calls we were able to talk for about 10 minutes. I told him that his aunt called last night to see how he was because she had a "feeling". That's when he did it - the noise. I got the worst butterflies and asked him to tell me why he did that. He told me to finish my story first so I did. I thought I had pacified his aunt with our near accident but now I'm not so sure. What did I miss, what has happened there?
The past week the weather has been really bad there, and a few days ago they had a blizzard. Of course in conditions like that things were quiet. He told me how it snowed for hours on end all of one day and into the night then it just stopped. The snow stopped falling and the night sky was lit by stars, he said it was so eerie. Then yesterday, after the weather cleared more they were attacked. (just writing this is making my skin crawl) He didn't get into specifics of it, how it started, but they took incoming rounds and returned fire. He said they had a good 30 minute fire fight. I asked if everyone was okay and he said "yes, even the Army." (if you know Derrick you see the comedy in that)
I don't know why I do this each time, but I asked him if he was "effective". That's my happy place code for, well... combat experience. See I can't even say it when I'm trying to. His reply, "I'm always effective Denise."
So with that I left it alone, I told him I was so glad that everyone was okay, to be safe and stay on guard, then reminded him that he has an important date next month that he can't miss.
He says he's good, he doesn't need anything at the moment, by the time it arrives he'll be home on R&R (unless something comes up and delays him) so it wouldn't be worth shipping now anyways. He says he's doing fine, just can't wait to get home.
From his mouth to Gods ears.
(And if you ever wonder why deployed spouses never sleep? This is why.)
Friday the 13th for us was a good day, nothing out of the ordinary, cooky or wacky to report but my 14th, it wasn't as good. Don't get me wrong, the boys and I had a good morning but as you'll read, things shifted as the day progressed. Here is my confirmation, Valentine's Day sucked for the Cordova bunch. It could have been a lot worse with differing outcomes, Thank you GOD for watching over us all. Clearly yesterday we needed it.
Yesterday was weird to say the least. I wasn't sure I'd hear from Derrick since I'd only heard from him once in 9 days time. I kept my cell phone on me just in case he'd call. He didn't. I didn't get upset or even worry, I know he is busy. Let me clarify - I worry. I do that every day, but I didn't worry because he didn't call, that's what I meant.
We spent the morning and early afternoon with our neighbors, all-in-all it was a fun day. It was later that was weird. After coming home we decided to run to the BX for a few things. On the way home we had a little (HUGE) encounter where I thought they were going to have to notify next of kin for the three of us. A huge truck lost control on a narrow road and fishtailed all over the place and just before hitting us head on the driver regained control and ended up steering his truck through the crops that lined the road. Two seconds later and I wouldn't be typing now. It took a while for my heart to stop racing, and even longer for my nerves to calm. I had the worst thoughts running through my head as I saw this all happen. Thank God we're all fine, the truck driver too.
So last night Derrick's aunt called to wish us a Happy Valentine's Day and to see how we were doing, Derrick included. She asked me specifically if I'd heard from him and I hadn't, not in at least 4 days but I wasn't worried, I mean I didn't feel worried. When I said that she made a noise. I knew when she did that that she was calling me because of a gut feeling she had. See, she has a sixth sense about family and accidents/injuries and such. I asked her if she felt something and sure enough she did. I attempted to pacify her and told her that we were all fine, that it was the boys and I she had that feeling about and not Derrick. I don't know if that was enough for her, she didn't talk about it beyond that, so I assumed. I still do, I'm going to call her to verify once I'm done with this blog though.
I just got off the phone with Derrick. Through 4 broken calls we were able to talk for about 10 minutes. I told him that his aunt called last night to see how he was because she had a "feeling". That's when he did it - the noise. I got the worst butterflies and asked him to tell me why he did that. He told me to finish my story first so I did. I thought I had pacified his aunt with our near accident but now I'm not so sure. What did I miss, what has happened there?
The past week the weather has been really bad there, and a few days ago they had a blizzard. Of course in conditions like that things were quiet. He told me how it snowed for hours on end all of one day and into the night then it just stopped. The snow stopped falling and the night sky was lit by stars, he said it was so eerie. Then yesterday, after the weather cleared more they were attacked. (just writing this is making my skin crawl) He didn't get into specifics of it, how it started, but they took incoming rounds and returned fire. He said they had a good 30 minute fire fight. I asked if everyone was okay and he said "yes, even the Army." (if you know Derrick you see the comedy in that)
I don't know why I do this each time, but I asked him if he was "effective". That's my happy place code for, well... combat experience. See I can't even say it when I'm trying to. His reply, "I'm always effective Denise."
So with that I left it alone, I told him I was so glad that everyone was okay, to be safe and stay on guard, then reminded him that he has an important date next month that he can't miss.
He says he's good, he doesn't need anything at the moment, by the time it arrives he'll be home on R&R (unless something comes up and delays him) so it wouldn't be worth shipping now anyways. He says he's doing fine, just can't wait to get home.
From his mouth to Gods ears.
(And if you ever wonder why deployed spouses never sleep? This is why.)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
To recap the past week or so
This past week has seemed like it's drawn on forever. I guess it's been a little longer than a week, that might have something to do with it. My last blog was posted at a time when I probably shouldn't have, I was working on plenty of emotion and not many facts, just an article that didn't positively project Derrick's deployment. Since then I've talked to him and made a few realizations about this.
When I finally talked to Derrick, I think it was 6 days after the last time I'd heard from him, he did his best to reassure me that he was fine. Of course not without stressing me out further first. I told him about the article and how it really had me bothered. He reminded me that the media writes things just to cause a stir and that the things mentioned in the article are things he deals with on a daily basis, this "new heightened threat" is nothing new at all. He is trained and ready for everything. He reassures me that I shouldn't worry. Then he asks me which villages were specifically mentioned. I start to name a few, the first one I mention he says, "Oh no, that's pronounced..." I forget the name of the village right now or I'd tell ya. The second village I mention, he says he was there two days ago. Well that's reassuring.
Okay so it wasn't but getting to hear from him daily for 3 days was. He was at another camp for a class and got stranded due to the weather. The camp he was at had internet, unfiltered at that. Phones were down so that was the only way he was able to communicate with us. He was able to get on Myspace and send the boys messages as well as touch bases with some of our friends. It worked so out so well for me, if I was ever away from my computer, or even if I was laptop in lap, as soon as my friends saw that he was online my phone started ringing. (Thank you all so much for making sure I was able to talk with him as much as possible)
While Derrick enjoyed getting to talk to us often, the connection was so good that one time we were able to turn on the web cam so the boys could wave to daddy and show off some of their silliness, I know that Derrick was going stir crazy with nothing to do. It's hard to not take it personal when all he talks about is getting back to his men (& a more stressful combat environment), but I understand that for him, he is there to get a job done and to stay in that frame of mind he keeps his focus on the mission and ultimately his safety. That said, it still doesn't stop the sting.
By the end of day three of talking to him online my laptop power cord decided it was done. Of course at a time when I am most dependent on it. On top of that our desktop monitor decided to fry also. With only minutes of battery life left I sent a message to Derrick explaining that I wouldn't be able to get online that night, that I loved and missed him. I went to bed so bummed, no pissed that night, only to be woken to the phone at 0130. I woke up the next morning thinking it was all a dream, I hadn't heard his voice in almost 2 weeks by this time. He was calling just to let me know he had hopped a flight and was back at his camp. He made it safe and wouldn't be able to get online again any time soon. I guess it worked out that my computer issues happened when they did. He said he couldn't talk long, he had to brief the Army on some things and then meet up with his Marines and see what he'd missed. I could tell from his voice that he was happy to be back where he belongs..err where he needs to be now. He also mentioned that his l.t. had left already. He was on his way home for 2 weeks of R & R. That means this is now a reality, they are getting some time away! Derrick has signed up for a time frame and been approved but to keeps emotions down we've pretty much kept it between the two of us. This is the military after all. Anything can change in the blink of an eye. The kids don't even know when/if daddy will be home before late this summer.
It's been 4 days since I've heard from him last, but this time around it isn't as stressful. I guess talking to him, him trying to pacify me worked more than I initially thought it would. That and he was able to talk when I felt I needed reassurance most, that icing on the cake.
Aside from everything Derrick, things seems to be going well. Melanie is tackling the second semester of her sophomore year and pretty well from what I'm hearing. She's had to switch up her schedule a few times due to some transcripts errors, that took her out of choir. Now that the mix up and been fixed her classes have been moved and she can't get back into choir. That is killing her, but having the advanced classes is top priority and I think she accepts that. She's adjusting well to Texas and finding her share of cute boys to associate with. Of course that leaves mom and dad just thrilled. ;)
The boys are good, Brandon just made honor roll again. This was the first year/quarter he's ever struggled to get it so we're extra proud of him. At the midway point progress reports came out and he had an F is math. I was beside myself, he's never not been on the honor roll. I talked with him and his teacher and found out what the problem was. (& it's her fault if you ask me) Brandon excels at math so she lets him work ahead. While the class was working on one thing he was already ahead of them working on long division. While he understood the concept he was making an error with the actual division sign. He was miscalculating the first part of it as a 1 and part of the equation rather than the sign that separates the divisors. When he was failing the quizzes, instead of looking at his work and seeing that he was struggling and helping him she let him continue further at his own pace, even when he wasn't getting it. When the progress reports came out he had 4 weeks to bring up his grade. I told him that I understood the struggle, we worked together so he could master the concepts then he went back and worked his tail off. I told Derrick about his F and that he'd probably only be able to bring it up to a C. For the first time ever he wouldn't get honor roll. Derrick told me I needed more faith and he knew Brandon could do it. Sure enough, he did. That F was a B- by the time the quarter ended. Yes, I got the "I told you so" from Derrick, and I was thrilled to get it.
Luke is still a year or two away from actual letter grades, depending on where we go next year but he's doing really well in school too. For such a hyperactive child at home he is really a stellar student at school. I asked his teacher how he's doing with staying focused and moving around the class. She asked me why I would ask. Uhh because this is Luke and each teacher he's had before has commented on how he's boarder line ADHD. She hadn't noticed any of that. He is a well behaved, well mannered, eager learner who is very helpful with helping others. Either she's blind, she's a better teacher than I expected and has corraled him, or he's growing up and calming down. I'll settle for the middle, I'm not ready for him to grow up just yet.
Oh another big thing for Luke, he's been invited to perform in the Black History Month celebration, he and his friend Emily are the only two from his class to be invited. He's so thrilled. He meets twice a week after school to rehearse and will perform 3 times on February 27th. He also was accepted into the math facts club at school. He really wanted the cooking club, but math works for him too. He's really such a good kid and easy to please, both boys are. Brandon is in the middle of his third year of eisa (the Japanese drums) and is gearing up for his performance in March at the Bechtel Elem. Ryukyu Festival. This year will be his last year and the best performance by far. He might even have a special guest here to watch him perform.
Now to me, I generally try to skip this part, I hate talking about myself, especially if it's not the most positive but I guess I need to do that too. A few months ago- almost 6 now I guess, I went to the doc with a complaint that I might be allergic to something I was eating. I was having shortness of breath like my passageway was closing up on me, my heart would race a little and I'd just feel a little off for a while. It never really happened at home so I was thinking it was something I was eating, maybe an additive that was causing this. I talked to my doc, she took my family history then proceeded to run test- heart tests not allergy. After 3 back-to-back EKGs, way to stress a girl out and nothing notable I needed further testing. Later I learned the 3 tests were because the first 2 the leads weren't placed correctly, go figure? So a few weeks later I was feeling like Bill Cosby running on a treadmill with all the bells and whistles attached. That came back pretty normal too. Apparently I am incapable of reaching my target heart rate (I already knew that through stressful intense bouts at the gym) but otherwise all is good in heartland. It was kind of dropped at that point, kind of typical unless you get a rare breed of doctors.
I figured out what it was just the other day and all by myself. I kind of laughed too. Anxiety & stress. It's not so much after I eat that I felt it, but when I was out with the kids, mainly Melanie when we were going through so much turmoil. I was constantly stressed and emotional and constantly (3-4 times a week) trying to figure out what was causing me to lose my breath, feel a tightness in my chest and make me so dizzy. The only reason I was able to figure it out is because of all of this with Derrick, then on top of that some (not so new) medical problems on my end. I have to laugh about it because my background. I should have spotted this a long time ago. I guess when it's happening to yourself you, or I, tend to overlook some of the obvious possibilities.
For the sake of getting this out there and off my chest (in hopes of maintaining sanity) for years I've stressed over my annual exams, not because I dread them. I don't care for them but I go religiously, but because my family history works for me, and in this case it's not a good thing. It seems every other year my pap results come back abnormal and I have to go in for a follow up within a few months, each time it's been cleared and back to routine. In the three years (3 exams) I've been here 2 have been abnormal. The first year and now this year. The difference is in year one a follow up was made and came back clear, this one is a little different. It came back abnormal but a follow up pap isn't being scheduled Instead this time around a colposcopy will be done (next month). I've done some research and talked to a few friends who've had it done. In both cases at minimum precancerous cells have been noted, in one the beginning stages of uterine cancer. :( At this stage in the game I just want to tell them to give me a hysterectomy to be preventative at least, but that's just irrational, right?
Times like these I wish my mother knew her mothers medical history a little better. I know female (gynecological) cancers run in my family, but I'd like the specifics of what types. I guess some times we're just not that fortunate. In any case, I've had a few days of being really really stressed out and in those moments the *anxiety* reared it's head again and it clicked, A-ha. After a few really stressful and depressed days I realized that life is going to happen, good and bad and all I can do is live it. Being depressed and worried about things I can't change (yet) is only going to take away from my time.
This news came to me the last day Derrick was at the other camp, we were able to talk once after I received the news. He reassured me that we knew this, or something like this was going to happen, and it'll be okay, not to stress, to relax and make some time for myself. All things I know, but being able to hear it from him really makes a world of difference.
So I'm running with that now. I'm sure I'll have more days where I worry more than I'm productive but for the most part I think my crazy optimism is going to prevail. Either way, I'll be sure to update.
When I finally talked to Derrick, I think it was 6 days after the last time I'd heard from him, he did his best to reassure me that he was fine. Of course not without stressing me out further first. I told him about the article and how it really had me bothered. He reminded me that the media writes things just to cause a stir and that the things mentioned in the article are things he deals with on a daily basis, this "new heightened threat" is nothing new at all. He is trained and ready for everything. He reassures me that I shouldn't worry. Then he asks me which villages were specifically mentioned. I start to name a few, the first one I mention he says, "Oh no, that's pronounced..." I forget the name of the village right now or I'd tell ya. The second village I mention, he says he was there two days ago. Well that's reassuring.
Okay so it wasn't but getting to hear from him daily for 3 days was. He was at another camp for a class and got stranded due to the weather. The camp he was at had internet, unfiltered at that. Phones were down so that was the only way he was able to communicate with us. He was able to get on Myspace and send the boys messages as well as touch bases with some of our friends. It worked so out so well for me, if I was ever away from my computer, or even if I was laptop in lap, as soon as my friends saw that he was online my phone started ringing. (Thank you all so much for making sure I was able to talk with him as much as possible)
While Derrick enjoyed getting to talk to us often, the connection was so good that one time we were able to turn on the web cam so the boys could wave to daddy and show off some of their silliness, I know that Derrick was going stir crazy with nothing to do. It's hard to not take it personal when all he talks about is getting back to his men (& a more stressful combat environment), but I understand that for him, he is there to get a job done and to stay in that frame of mind he keeps his focus on the mission and ultimately his safety. That said, it still doesn't stop the sting.
By the end of day three of talking to him online my laptop power cord decided it was done. Of course at a time when I am most dependent on it. On top of that our desktop monitor decided to fry also. With only minutes of battery life left I sent a message to Derrick explaining that I wouldn't be able to get online that night, that I loved and missed him. I went to bed so bummed, no pissed that night, only to be woken to the phone at 0130. I woke up the next morning thinking it was all a dream, I hadn't heard his voice in almost 2 weeks by this time. He was calling just to let me know he had hopped a flight and was back at his camp. He made it safe and wouldn't be able to get online again any time soon. I guess it worked out that my computer issues happened when they did. He said he couldn't talk long, he had to brief the Army on some things and then meet up with his Marines and see what he'd missed. I could tell from his voice that he was happy to be back where he belongs..err where he needs to be now. He also mentioned that his l.t. had left already. He was on his way home for 2 weeks of R & R. That means this is now a reality, they are getting some time away! Derrick has signed up for a time frame and been approved but to keeps emotions down we've pretty much kept it between the two of us. This is the military after all. Anything can change in the blink of an eye. The kids don't even know when/if daddy will be home before late this summer.
It's been 4 days since I've heard from him last, but this time around it isn't as stressful. I guess talking to him, him trying to pacify me worked more than I initially thought it would. That and he was able to talk when I felt I needed reassurance most, that icing on the cake.
Aside from everything Derrick, things seems to be going well. Melanie is tackling the second semester of her sophomore year and pretty well from what I'm hearing. She's had to switch up her schedule a few times due to some transcripts errors, that took her out of choir. Now that the mix up and been fixed her classes have been moved and she can't get back into choir. That is killing her, but having the advanced classes is top priority and I think she accepts that. She's adjusting well to Texas and finding her share of cute boys to associate with. Of course that leaves mom and dad just thrilled. ;)
The boys are good, Brandon just made honor roll again. This was the first year/quarter he's ever struggled to get it so we're extra proud of him. At the midway point progress reports came out and he had an F is math. I was beside myself, he's never not been on the honor roll. I talked with him and his teacher and found out what the problem was. (& it's her fault if you ask me) Brandon excels at math so she lets him work ahead. While the class was working on one thing he was already ahead of them working on long division. While he understood the concept he was making an error with the actual division sign. He was miscalculating the first part of it as a 1 and part of the equation rather than the sign that separates the divisors. When he was failing the quizzes, instead of looking at his work and seeing that he was struggling and helping him she let him continue further at his own pace, even when he wasn't getting it. When the progress reports came out he had 4 weeks to bring up his grade. I told him that I understood the struggle, we worked together so he could master the concepts then he went back and worked his tail off. I told Derrick about his F and that he'd probably only be able to bring it up to a C. For the first time ever he wouldn't get honor roll. Derrick told me I needed more faith and he knew Brandon could do it. Sure enough, he did. That F was a B- by the time the quarter ended. Yes, I got the "I told you so" from Derrick, and I was thrilled to get it.
Luke is still a year or two away from actual letter grades, depending on where we go next year but he's doing really well in school too. For such a hyperactive child at home he is really a stellar student at school. I asked his teacher how he's doing with staying focused and moving around the class. She asked me why I would ask. Uhh because this is Luke and each teacher he's had before has commented on how he's boarder line ADHD. She hadn't noticed any of that. He is a well behaved, well mannered, eager learner who is very helpful with helping others. Either she's blind, she's a better teacher than I expected and has corraled him, or he's growing up and calming down. I'll settle for the middle, I'm not ready for him to grow up just yet.
Oh another big thing for Luke, he's been invited to perform in the Black History Month celebration, he and his friend Emily are the only two from his class to be invited. He's so thrilled. He meets twice a week after school to rehearse and will perform 3 times on February 27th. He also was accepted into the math facts club at school. He really wanted the cooking club, but math works for him too. He's really such a good kid and easy to please, both boys are. Brandon is in the middle of his third year of eisa (the Japanese drums) and is gearing up for his performance in March at the Bechtel Elem. Ryukyu Festival. This year will be his last year and the best performance by far. He might even have a special guest here to watch him perform.
Now to me, I generally try to skip this part, I hate talking about myself, especially if it's not the most positive but I guess I need to do that too. A few months ago- almost 6 now I guess, I went to the doc with a complaint that I might be allergic to something I was eating. I was having shortness of breath like my passageway was closing up on me, my heart would race a little and I'd just feel a little off for a while. It never really happened at home so I was thinking it was something I was eating, maybe an additive that was causing this. I talked to my doc, she took my family history then proceeded to run test- heart tests not allergy. After 3 back-to-back EKGs, way to stress a girl out and nothing notable I needed further testing. Later I learned the 3 tests were because the first 2 the leads weren't placed correctly, go figure? So a few weeks later I was feeling like Bill Cosby running on a treadmill with all the bells and whistles attached. That came back pretty normal too. Apparently I am incapable of reaching my target heart rate (I already knew that through stressful intense bouts at the gym) but otherwise all is good in heartland. It was kind of dropped at that point, kind of typical unless you get a rare breed of doctors.
I figured out what it was just the other day and all by myself. I kind of laughed too. Anxiety & stress. It's not so much after I eat that I felt it, but when I was out with the kids, mainly Melanie when we were going through so much turmoil. I was constantly stressed and emotional and constantly (3-4 times a week) trying to figure out what was causing me to lose my breath, feel a tightness in my chest and make me so dizzy. The only reason I was able to figure it out is because of all of this with Derrick, then on top of that some (not so new) medical problems on my end. I have to laugh about it because my background. I should have spotted this a long time ago. I guess when it's happening to yourself you, or I, tend to overlook some of the obvious possibilities.
For the sake of getting this out there and off my chest (in hopes of maintaining sanity) for years I've stressed over my annual exams, not because I dread them. I don't care for them but I go religiously, but because my family history works for me, and in this case it's not a good thing. It seems every other year my pap results come back abnormal and I have to go in for a follow up within a few months, each time it's been cleared and back to routine. In the three years (3 exams) I've been here 2 have been abnormal. The first year and now this year. The difference is in year one a follow up was made and came back clear, this one is a little different. It came back abnormal but a follow up pap isn't being scheduled Instead this time around a colposcopy will be done (next month). I've done some research and talked to a few friends who've had it done. In both cases at minimum precancerous cells have been noted, in one the beginning stages of uterine cancer. :( At this stage in the game I just want to tell them to give me a hysterectomy to be preventative at least, but that's just irrational, right?
Times like these I wish my mother knew her mothers medical history a little better. I know female (gynecological) cancers run in my family, but I'd like the specifics of what types. I guess some times we're just not that fortunate. In any case, I've had a few days of being really really stressed out and in those moments the *anxiety* reared it's head again and it clicked, A-ha. After a few really stressful and depressed days I realized that life is going to happen, good and bad and all I can do is live it. Being depressed and worried about things I can't change (yet) is only going to take away from my time.
This news came to me the last day Derrick was at the other camp, we were able to talk once after I received the news. He reassured me that we knew this, or something like this was going to happen, and it'll be okay, not to stress, to relax and make some time for myself. All things I know, but being able to hear it from him really makes a world of difference.
So I'm running with that now. I'm sure I'll have more days where I worry more than I'm productive but for the most part I think my crazy optimism is going to prevail. Either way, I'll be sure to update.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
todays news...
I figure I'd post what I know before people see this article and start to question. Not that I have much to reassure, but maybe blogging for a minute will help ease my mind. This article talks about Mehtar Lam and Laghman Province. There are a few specific villages mentioned as well, in any case, this is where Derrick is at. What I don't know is where he fits in the mix. Is he a special ops force or is he a "conventional American troop." Either way, I'm not liking what's happening in the region.
Between this article and the fact that my last contact with him was almost a week ago, I am feeling a little in the dark over here. I'm holding on to the idea that no news is good news.
Afghans threaten US troops over civilian deaths
By JASON STRAZIUSO, Associated Press Writer Jason Straziuso, Associated Press Writer – Sat Jan 31, 1:21 pm ET
MEHTERLAM, Afghanistan – An angry Afghan man with a thick black beard ranted wildly at the U.S. officials, shouting about how their overnight raid had killed 16 civilians in his village. An Afghan elder cried out in grief that his son and four grandsons were among the dead.
One after another, a long line of government officials, villagers and community leaders told American military officials at the Laghman governor's compound that Afghan soldiers must be allowed to take part in such raids. Several predicted increased violence against U.S. forces if more nighttime operations take place.
Three recent U.S. Special Forces operations killed 50 people — the vast majority civilians, Afghan officials say — raising the ire of villagers and President Hamid Karzai, who set a one-month deadline for his demand that Afghan soldiers play a bigger role in military operations.
"If these operations are again conducted in our area, all of our people are ready to carry out jihad. We cannot tolerate seeing the dead bodies of our children and women anymore," Malik Malekazratullah, the Afghan who ranted at the Americans, told The Associated Press. "I've already told President Karzai we are out of patience."
U.S. officials said it was possible the conventional American troops stationed in Laghman province — a separate group from the Special Forces units that carried out the nighttime raids — could face an increased risk of attack.
"Anytime there is that kind of public outcry, you can imagine that there are some people out there who may take that and put it into action," said Lt. Col. Dan Fuhr, the top U.S. commander in Laghman, one province east of Kabul.
The overnight raids target what U.S. officials say are known insurgent leaders. The specially trained Special Forces are dropped off outside a village by helicopter, then move in to capture or kill their targets.
The problem, Afghan officials say, comes when ordinary civilians hear the commotion. Fearing robbers or an attack from a hostile tribe, the close-knit villagers grab their guns and run outside or fire from their homes. U.S. forces then fire back and end up killing civilians doing nothing more than answering the call to defend their neighbors.
Afghan officials say an overnight raid Jan. 7 in the village of Masmoot in Laghman killed 19 civilians. A raid in Kapisa on Jan. 19 killed 15 people, mostly civilians. And a second Laghman raid Jan. 23, in Guloch village, killed 16, they say.
Even if the Special Forces nail their intended target, when raids go wrong they end up killing Afghan civilians as well, turning whole villages against the Afghan government and the presence of U.S. forces.
"Maybe there were only two or three insurgents in Guloch, but I can tell you that there are thousands now," Abdul Qadir Kochai, a member of parliament on a delegation sent by Karzai, told the U.S. officials.
Some 60 people gathered in the Laghman governor's compound on Wednesday to air their complaints. It was the fifth meeting held there over the two civilian death incidents in Laghman.
The U.S. officials listened dutifully to the complaints. They apologized for unintentional deaths and promised increased cooperation.
"We know these raids have left many widows and orphans, and we want your advice on how we should help them," Fuhr told the group Wednesday. One day earlier, U.S. officials paid Afghan villagers in neighboring Kapisa province $40,000 for the deaths of 15 Afghans there.
Laghman's governor, Latifullah Mashal, called for more U.S.-Afghan coordination in the overnight operations. He said the Taliban are purposely mingling among villagers in the hopes that civilians die.
"One young boy said his whole family was killed, and now he wants to become a suicide bomber. This is a very negative message," Mashal said. "The Taliban are succeeding at having a whole village turn against the government. They are being told to do this."
Col. Greg Julian, who led the U.S. team in the meeting on behalf of Gen. David McKiernan, the overall commander of U.S. and NATO troops in Afghanistan, said most overnight raids are carried out without any civilian deaths or injuries. But he said botched raids do have a negative effect on the conventional forces based in the regions.
"It does put those troops that are in there all the time at risk because they (Afghans) can't distinguish between these troops and any other troops that operate in their area," Julian said.
Fuhr, 44, a member of the Illinois National Guard from Park Ridge, Illinois, said there were a "few indicators" of increased danger to his 400 troops in Laghman. But he said it was too soon to tell if angered villagers would carry out violence. "We're certainly putting ourselves in a more vigilant posture just in case," he said.
Fuhr said the two civilian death cases in his area reinforce for him the importance of making sure Afghans take the lead in delicate military operations. Julian said elite Afghan commandos are being trained to take part in overnight missions, but he didn't know if or when Afghans would take part in every overnight raid.
Afghan officials say Afghans soldiers could prevent the kinds of deaths that Abdul Mateen, a village elder from Masmoot, described at the meeting. Mateen said a woman tried to leave the village to escape the battle.
"Then someone shouted at her. Maybe they told her to stop, but she couldn't understand, so they shot her," Mateen told the group. "So even people trying to get away couldn't escape."
Mashal, the governor, pleaded with his U.S. guests: "You don't allow us to lead, but at least put us on board."
"We have to avoid the Taliban from making us look like the bad guys, to find a way to have a little bit of coordination and to have an Afghan in the lead," he said.
Between this article and the fact that my last contact with him was almost a week ago, I am feeling a little in the dark over here. I'm holding on to the idea that no news is good news.
Afghans threaten US troops over civilian deaths
By JASON STRAZIUSO, Associated Press Writer Jason Straziuso, Associated Press Writer – Sat Jan 31, 1:21 pm ET
MEHTERLAM, Afghanistan – An angry Afghan man with a thick black beard ranted wildly at the U.S. officials, shouting about how their overnight raid had killed 16 civilians in his village. An Afghan elder cried out in grief that his son and four grandsons were among the dead.
One after another, a long line of government officials, villagers and community leaders told American military officials at the Laghman governor's compound that Afghan soldiers must be allowed to take part in such raids. Several predicted increased violence against U.S. forces if more nighttime operations take place.
Three recent U.S. Special Forces operations killed 50 people — the vast majority civilians, Afghan officials say — raising the ire of villagers and President Hamid Karzai, who set a one-month deadline for his demand that Afghan soldiers play a bigger role in military operations.
"If these operations are again conducted in our area, all of our people are ready to carry out jihad. We cannot tolerate seeing the dead bodies of our children and women anymore," Malik Malekazratullah, the Afghan who ranted at the Americans, told The Associated Press. "I've already told President Karzai we are out of patience."
U.S. officials said it was possible the conventional American troops stationed in Laghman province — a separate group from the Special Forces units that carried out the nighttime raids — could face an increased risk of attack.
"Anytime there is that kind of public outcry, you can imagine that there are some people out there who may take that and put it into action," said Lt. Col. Dan Fuhr, the top U.S. commander in Laghman, one province east of Kabul.
The overnight raids target what U.S. officials say are known insurgent leaders. The specially trained Special Forces are dropped off outside a village by helicopter, then move in to capture or kill their targets.
The problem, Afghan officials say, comes when ordinary civilians hear the commotion. Fearing robbers or an attack from a hostile tribe, the close-knit villagers grab their guns and run outside or fire from their homes. U.S. forces then fire back and end up killing civilians doing nothing more than answering the call to defend their neighbors.
Afghan officials say an overnight raid Jan. 7 in the village of Masmoot in Laghman killed 19 civilians. A raid in Kapisa on Jan. 19 killed 15 people, mostly civilians. And a second Laghman raid Jan. 23, in Guloch village, killed 16, they say.
Even if the Special Forces nail their intended target, when raids go wrong they end up killing Afghan civilians as well, turning whole villages against the Afghan government and the presence of U.S. forces.
"Maybe there were only two or three insurgents in Guloch, but I can tell you that there are thousands now," Abdul Qadir Kochai, a member of parliament on a delegation sent by Karzai, told the U.S. officials.
Some 60 people gathered in the Laghman governor's compound on Wednesday to air their complaints. It was the fifth meeting held there over the two civilian death incidents in Laghman.
The U.S. officials listened dutifully to the complaints. They apologized for unintentional deaths and promised increased cooperation.
"We know these raids have left many widows and orphans, and we want your advice on how we should help them," Fuhr told the group Wednesday. One day earlier, U.S. officials paid Afghan villagers in neighboring Kapisa province $40,000 for the deaths of 15 Afghans there.
Laghman's governor, Latifullah Mashal, called for more U.S.-Afghan coordination in the overnight operations. He said the Taliban are purposely mingling among villagers in the hopes that civilians die.
"One young boy said his whole family was killed, and now he wants to become a suicide bomber. This is a very negative message," Mashal said. "The Taliban are succeeding at having a whole village turn against the government. They are being told to do this."
Col. Greg Julian, who led the U.S. team in the meeting on behalf of Gen. David McKiernan, the overall commander of U.S. and NATO troops in Afghanistan, said most overnight raids are carried out without any civilian deaths or injuries. But he said botched raids do have a negative effect on the conventional forces based in the regions.
"It does put those troops that are in there all the time at risk because they (Afghans) can't distinguish between these troops and any other troops that operate in their area," Julian said.
Fuhr, 44, a member of the Illinois National Guard from Park Ridge, Illinois, said there were a "few indicators" of increased danger to his 400 troops in Laghman. But he said it was too soon to tell if angered villagers would carry out violence. "We're certainly putting ourselves in a more vigilant posture just in case," he said.
Fuhr said the two civilian death cases in his area reinforce for him the importance of making sure Afghans take the lead in delicate military operations. Julian said elite Afghan commandos are being trained to take part in overnight missions, but he didn't know if or when Afghans would take part in every overnight raid.
Afghan officials say Afghans soldiers could prevent the kinds of deaths that Abdul Mateen, a village elder from Masmoot, described at the meeting. Mateen said a woman tried to leave the village to escape the battle.
"Then someone shouted at her. Maybe they told her to stop, but she couldn't understand, so they shot her," Mateen told the group. "So even people trying to get away couldn't escape."
Mashal, the governor, pleaded with his U.S. guests: "You don't allow us to lead, but at least put us on board."
"We have to avoid the Taliban from making us look like the bad guys, to find a way to have a little bit of coordination and to have an Afghan in the lead," he said.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I saw this article in the 3rd Marine Division Newsletter, I read it and smiled through the beginning, but it didn't take long for tears to fall, just thinking about the fact that we're not even two months into this deployment. I've not even hit the 1/3 mark, I'm still over a month away for that. For those who are not married to the Military, this will give a little insight to what life is like for us, for the wives who have gone through deployments, this is a great reminder that we're never completely alone, though all to often it feels like we are.
The Spouse’s Scoop
In a time when the only certain thing is uncertainty, where the family life is torn and shattered and a spouse, parent, brother, or sister is taken and put into a war zone. Where the only chance you get to talk to your loved one is for a few minutes on a choppy line that might go out at any minute. Form all of this there is a strength, a bond that is formed not only between and within the family but within the friends, with the community that would in any other situation not have meant more than just an acquaintance you see every now and then when you get the groceries.
Form these events we get extraordinary people, people that with all of live against them they find a way to overcome and come out on top. This is one of their stories:
“Has it really been three months already? Wow, it’s going really fast!” exclaimed an exuberant relative over the long distance line. I held the receiver away from my face for a moment and took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to repeatedly bang the phone against my forehead. At least she hadn’t uttered the dreaded, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never be away from my husband for so long.” There simply is no response to such a statement because the irony is; I can’t be away from my husband for that long either. Yet I have to be.
Of course, I knew my relative meant well. But such comments, truly meant as encouragement from well-intentioned family and friends, can often lead to increased frustration. That’s why, when deployment time rolls around, I find myself leaning more and more on two of the best resources around: my fellow deployed spouses and my faith.
As a group, we deployed spouses are easy to spot. We’re the lone moms or dads you see at church on Sunday managing to keep our little ones from wandering the aisles and our older ones focused. We’re the ones flashing our Deployed Spouse Benefit Cards when we get our oil changed. We’re the ones taking mini-vacations together or trading babysitting favors. We’re either out in the yard mowing or offering active employment to half the teenage population on base. And, yes, that was one of us wives you saw standing in as a Boy Scout leader, too.
But above all, we’re relating to each other in our own unique way. On Friday nights, when our other friends are spending some well-earned time with their husbands and wives who are thankfully at home, we Deployed Spouses can get together. Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we laugh so hard we cry. And sometimes, well, we just cry. In between we simply share the time in the hope that by splitting it, it will somehow pass by more pleasantly and quickly.
Inevitably though, there are times when we find ourselves alone. The weight of worry presses on us. The house feels lonely despite the presence of our children who, perhaps even while they sleep, are dreaming up inventive ways to challenge the new One Parent Discipline program.
It’s times like this that we’re given the opportunity to practice our faith, whatever brand, faithfully. To remember that we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves. Faith reminds us that we’re never truly alone, even when we start to feel that way. Faith offers sustenance to fill the void through the long months of separation and lone parenting. And faith, at its best, can even bring us joy during times of hardship.
Deployments are hard. They don’t pass by quickly, no matter how much our loving and well-meaning relatives try to convince us otherwise. But by relying on faith and leaning on each other, maybe we can resist the urge to bang telephones against our foreheads when our spouse comes home and Aunt Polly declares, “See? I told you the time would fly.”
This article was written by Teresa S., she and her boy’s are happily reunited with her husband, who returned from deployment last month.
The Spouse’s Scoop
In a time when the only certain thing is uncertainty, where the family life is torn and shattered and a spouse, parent, brother, or sister is taken and put into a war zone. Where the only chance you get to talk to your loved one is for a few minutes on a choppy line that might go out at any minute. Form all of this there is a strength, a bond that is formed not only between and within the family but within the friends, with the community that would in any other situation not have meant more than just an acquaintance you see every now and then when you get the groceries.
Form these events we get extraordinary people, people that with all of live against them they find a way to overcome and come out on top. This is one of their stories:
“Has it really been three months already? Wow, it’s going really fast!” exclaimed an exuberant relative over the long distance line. I held the receiver away from my face for a moment and took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to repeatedly bang the phone against my forehead. At least she hadn’t uttered the dreaded, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never be away from my husband for so long.” There simply is no response to such a statement because the irony is; I can’t be away from my husband for that long either. Yet I have to be.
Of course, I knew my relative meant well. But such comments, truly meant as encouragement from well-intentioned family and friends, can often lead to increased frustration. That’s why, when deployment time rolls around, I find myself leaning more and more on two of the best resources around: my fellow deployed spouses and my faith.
As a group, we deployed spouses are easy to spot. We’re the lone moms or dads you see at church on Sunday managing to keep our little ones from wandering the aisles and our older ones focused. We’re the ones flashing our Deployed Spouse Benefit Cards when we get our oil changed. We’re the ones taking mini-vacations together or trading babysitting favors. We’re either out in the yard mowing or offering active employment to half the teenage population on base. And, yes, that was one of us wives you saw standing in as a Boy Scout leader, too.
But above all, we’re relating to each other in our own unique way. On Friday nights, when our other friends are spending some well-earned time with their husbands and wives who are thankfully at home, we Deployed Spouses can get together. Sometimes we laugh. Sometimes we laugh so hard we cry. And sometimes, well, we just cry. In between we simply share the time in the hope that by splitting it, it will somehow pass by more pleasantly and quickly.
Inevitably though, there are times when we find ourselves alone. The weight of worry presses on us. The house feels lonely despite the presence of our children who, perhaps even while they sleep, are dreaming up inventive ways to challenge the new One Parent Discipline program.
It’s times like this that we’re given the opportunity to practice our faith, whatever brand, faithfully. To remember that we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves. Faith reminds us that we’re never truly alone, even when we start to feel that way. Faith offers sustenance to fill the void through the long months of separation and lone parenting. And faith, at its best, can even bring us joy during times of hardship.
Deployments are hard. They don’t pass by quickly, no matter how much our loving and well-meaning relatives try to convince us otherwise. But by relying on faith and leaning on each other, maybe we can resist the urge to bang telephones against our foreheads when our spouse comes home and Aunt Polly declares, “See? I told you the time would fly.”
This article was written by Teresa S., she and her boy’s are happily reunited with her husband, who returned from deployment last month.
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